Stayed clean for a full 7 days, until I threw it away again last night. Celebrating my wifes birthday, had a few glasses of wine, a couple of beers, and today I feel like shit. Hangover is one thing, but I feel like I lost again.
Before we left the house, I even drained the last few gulps of wine from the bottle, deftly making sure that neither my wife or the babysitter noticed. Noticing my bottle-drinking image in the window didn’t bother me then, but it’s killing me now.
It’s just a few glasses of wine, right? Between us we killed two bottles during the evening. Never felt a buzz, but I really wanted to feel good about the social setting.
Now, I’m back to square one again.
I don’t want to offend, I guess, as my little problem seems small compared to some of the storries in here. I just needed to tell someone. Hope that makes sence.
Guess it’s back to it. Starting this morning I’m sober 0 days and counting. The goal is at least 30 days straight.
FML
Remember how shitty this feels. Write it down if you need to. Remember the image of your sneaking the last of the bottle, the feel of the hangover, the anxiety and the shame. Use this feeling and remind yourself of it every time you’re in the presence of booze, and are tempted to take a sip. Last night was a lesson. Take it, and make it to 30 days. I believe in you.
You’re in the right place to share your feelings, we can really relate to your experiences. So just reflect on last night, get up and move forward. I remember giving in and drinking a bottle of wine, had no buz so felt utterly disappointed with myself… And what do we do when we’re sad? We numb ourselves with more alcohol. Your 7 day sobriery is not wasted if you learned something from breaking it
Jut keep trying you will get your 30days!! Don’t beat yourself up too much I you managed 7 days this was just a blip. Key is never to have that first one, as you break the cycle then your addicted brain things we had one may aswell make it worth resetting and have another n another until before you realize you are back hating yourself and the control alcohol has over you.
It’s tricky on birthday and celebration days when you think you have to have a drink to enjoy them. You don’t. Enjoy them because you are celebrating something. As you feel today the fact that you drank and feel shity has ruined the reason you were celebrating and that’s never a positive thing.
Stay strong it does get easier! You don’t need it.
Don’t beat yourself up. Brush the dirt off your knees and look forward. I have fallen into a few self shaming cycles lately and absolutely nothing good or helpful comes from it. Keep your chin up and try to work on what you can do differently next time
@Silverback I took a photo of myself on my first day back from a relapse into sobriety. A huge reminder why I can’t drink…I can see the sadness. I wanted the joy and sparkle back in my eyes. I needed “uncomfortable” because it’s my truth. Ive continued to take progress photos as time passes and I heal in recovery. I have 48 days today by the grace of God.
I can understand the feeling of “oh shit”. I haven’t made a week yet. Every time we go out, I have a beer… that turns into 3,4,5 or more. I don’t know how to turn it off… so for me, it makes more sense to not even have the first one… but Lord… the temptation. It surrounds us, doesn’t it? We drink to be happy, we drink when we are sad… it doesn’t matter. Every day is a celebration… find another way to celebrate and enjoy THAT… one day at a time, my friend. And when that doesn’t work, one hour at a time…
