Made it to 13 months. I noticed the cravings and want to drink were getting more intense towards my one year anniversary.
Anyways, I’ve drank about 3 times since then. Haven’t gone “overboard” and haven’t done any blow which is a huge accomplishment in its own. However I did break a huge boundary of letting alcohol in my home that I got during my sobriety because I had some people over after a friends birthday. I was able to convince everyone that I was okay to drink (manipulation). Guilt and shame snd all of the fun stuff, part of me wants to think I can drink like a normal person but I know with my past and both parents being addicts the likelihood of my success is very slim. Kind of a harsh reality. The hangover anxiety is also the worst feeling, it’s not worth it. I’m kind of rambling here and I’ve been putting this off for a couple weeks, avoiding this app and my shame but here we are… Hmm.
Never having another hangover as long as I live keeps me sober for the most part!
Welcome back…!
They are so awful,
Thank you!
That’s very much appreciated. And a very wise response, I don’t know why I missed it so much, it truly brought back all of those bad feelings and anxiety that I worked so hard to manage for a year. But yes it could have been much much worse and I truly am lucky to have made it out again.
Thank you.
glad you shared with us. 
brighter days ahead.
I am so glad you shared this with us. These kinds of shares help me in my sobriety. You have a lot of wisdom to share for sure.
It is great that you haven’t gone overboard, but you know as well as I do it is a ticking bomb. Time to nip it in the bud. Big props for noticing while nothing had gone seriously wrong.
Welcome back, seems like “shame” has been the topic of the day. It’s awful and at times can feel so consuming, the best thing about recovery is we CAN weed our way through it with alot of self compassion, acceptance, forgiveness… all that good stuff. You are so worth a life free of addiction and all the anxiety and shame that comes with it. I am happy you made it back.
This app continues to prove its safety in the community free of judgement
Thank you for your kind words, we’re all in it together 
That’s the damn truth lol. Thank you friend
That feeling of just wanting to be normal has gotten me many, many times. The last few times I realized my relapse was starting way before I took that first drink.
Do you know who we are best at manipulating? Ourselves! We lie to ourselves and say thing like, I’ve been sober such a long time, no way I would go back to that hot mess I used to be. I can totally control it now. 2 drinks max when I go out. Then, 3 drinks max, 4 drinks, and eventually we are right back where we started.
Thank you for coming back so quickly! It’s normal to NOT drink. It’s not normal to ingest poison. 