Went to a bar today

Didnt drink. Went to see a show. Went for a walk afterwards. It was weird. Gave me major anxiety and I couldnt relax. I was just like, “who am I now?” I wanted to have fun but I could not get out of there fast enough. I felt like I wanted to run out of my own skin. I was not expecting that reaction from myself. I am just now feeling calm, 6 hours later. Anyone else have simlilar feelings?

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Depending on the atmosphere, I can get sort of flashbacks of anxiety. The nicer the place, the less I feel it. In almost 14 years I’ve only been to a “real” bar, no food served, sticky floor kind of place one time. To watch football with my brothers, which I find boring (football, not my brothers). I left before halftime and went to a coffee shop for an hour. I was freaked out and that was at 10 years sober.

I only go with a good reason, and when the mission is accomplished, I leave.

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Lol thats how I felt. Go see show. Try to act normal. Get out!

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Bars aren’t that fun. I’d go to them drunk and leave… Well, not remember leaving

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I seldom go. I see them differently now. It isn’t home anymore. I look at the shiny, sticky bar top, the wet glass rings, hear the clinking glasses, see the animated conversations & exaggerated loud, laughter… and I feel nothing, except an overwhelming feeling that I don’t belong there. And if I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror of the bar back, I smile to myself & thank God :heart:

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Yep :100: - I have not been to a restaurant/bar with my spouse or friends while trying to maintain sobriety where I have not been completely miserable during the meal because I could not…chose not…to have a drink. I haven’t mastered that yet. I did pretty well at around the 90 day mark, but right now it isn’t any fun.

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Around Christmas we had friends visit and went to a local restaurant and all I could focus on was people drinking and what looked to me like they were really enjoying themselves. It was one of those moments when i was overtaken by jealous anger. It was also as if the ice in the glasses and clinking of glasses after a toast was deafening. Its different now, I go for lunch with friends frequently and I’m not bothered by the urge to drink or envy of those that can. If I find I’m getting uncomfortable I’ll quiet down and just listen to conversations without much input…now about 6.5 months sober.

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I had to go out sometimes to bars bc my boyfriend is in a band. I love watching him perform AND I love love music…the bar part really sucks though. I order food to pass the time…but I always end up eating more than I’d like to. I used to break it up by smoking outside…but I don’t do that anymore either! What I’ve realized is…well that that whole scene kind of blows. I don’t feel anxious or like I’m missing out or agitated when I’m not drinking around my friends, or when I’m tying a new activity or I’m hiking…just when I do this thing (going to the bar) that maybe I really never liked in the first place.

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I’m only 72 days in and I haven’t been near a bar. I never went to bars regularly though, more of a home drinker. I think because it was never a part of my life, I can’t see the point in going and I’m not inclined to test myself for no good reason - mostly cos I’m not utterly confident of the outcome. The time will come when I will undoubtedly need to go for a specific purpose but until then, it’s not for me. I think what I’m trying to say @Daphne is that I think your reaction, while unexpected, is (to me, anyway) perfectly normal :hugs:

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In AA we have a saying ‘frequent a barber shop often enough and eventually you’ll get a haircut’…I like others mentioned don’t feel it’s part of my life right now. Makes no sense to be in one. It’s kinda all superficial for me. People taking shit drunk doesn’t do it for me. Unless I’m eating a meal with sober people in one I don’t do it. My sofa/couch was my bar in the end tho…

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YES. It is how I learned jumping back into a bar/party setting too quickly is not a good idea. The anxiety is awful. Almost like you did something wrong even though you didn’t actually partake of anything? The noise gets overwhelming and you feel like everyone can see how out of place you are. And honestly, it eventually led to my relapses.

I’ll tell you one thing I do know for sure: sobriety shows you who your real friends are; real quicklike.

Awesome !!
Atleast you saw the show :stuck_out_tongue: