i am very interested to hear stories of divine happenings or far from coincidences in your lives, or an apparent sign, that had a significant impact on your recovery and you think of to this day. in and out of recovery
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when i began my DOC i had overdosed barely 2 months in on my then boyfriend’s dorm bed. he was able to save my life. we didnt stop. not 3 months later he overdosed and passed on the same bed after we split, alone, after what i believe to be a relapse after 2 weeks. the kicker for me was the fact that we were using the same dealer and the week before he passed i was using heavier than i ever had before.
someone recently took themselves out of my life after i clawed and grappled with them trying to convince them otherwise despite understanding his effect on me, 3 months later i have achieved more than i have in the 9 months i was with him. the days before i had left i cried while stargazing and saw a beautiful shooting star speak to me. this man had made me feel very ashamed for having a past in SW and i have experienced a lot of reassurance and bumping into others with the same experience since then.
i learned to drive recently. in the first month i drove alone and in someone elses car, uninsured, i ended up releasing the break at a red light for some reason and bumped the car in front of me. the guy had a trailer hitch… never take my eyes off the damn road anymore
mourning birds and blue jays speak to my yearning for a break at times. when i am outside and feeling dismal i can often hear either or chattering
over the last three months my housing has been threatened by a male landlord after i rejected advances, i lost a job after telling someone with 3 years i would not hook him up with my NA friends, and was evicted by someone i believed would extend grace towards my history. i am certainly being consequenced for straying away from the program and into the arms of a programless addict and it is now very clear to me that i must LEARN TO FISH RATHER THAN BELIEVING IF OTHERS GAVE ME FISH IT WOULD BE MINE AND I WOULD BE ALLOWED TO KEEP IT.
the main one is just being given chance after chance. i am 2 years in and ashamed of my standing due to how distracted i became with a relationship after leaving a year long program.
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Everytime i pick up or dont i see a sign that says “you should have stayed sober” or “good thing you didnt pick up”
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I like this topic. I have a lot of them that I see now, but I’ll mention two of them. The first involves my last day drinking. That day I had already been drinking in the morning and punched a hole in my wall. I went over my aunt’s house to calm down and bought what I said would be my last bottle on the way home. I came home, put that bottle behind my pillow in my room and heard my dad who I was living with at the time talking on the phone about how horrible I was acting and how dumb I was for doing these things. I blew up at him and stormed out of the house. I never even thought the grab the bottle. Turns out that was my last bottle and I never even drank it. The way my mind works on any other given time I would have grabbed that bottle first and then left. For me this was God literally pushing me out the door and saying no. So thankful for that and I was able to restore my relationship with my dad. The other was last year I had an anger episode at my new job and was freaking out about whether I’d be fired or reprimanded. I got up the courage to tell my manager that I was in a mental health IOP and was able to take the day to go over to the early group to help myself out. Know what the topic was that day? Anger. Just incredible. I drew a picture of what I thought anger looked like to me and it really opened my eyes more. Anyway those are a couple awesome God moments in my life
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Before my relapse these last two years I was sober almost two years but never tried meetings. Almost three weeks ago I walked into my church and went to a meeting I knew they had on Tuesday nights. I ended up sharing during the open discussion, which newcomers don’t usually do I have learned, but I had to get the words out. After the meeting, the guy who is now my sponsor, walked up and said hello to me. He told me even though he has been sober many years he still goes to meetings and loves to help others, a big piece of AA. The part that was a spiritual moment for me was he said he always listens for a spiritual connection during share time that helps him understand why God brought him to that particular meeting out of so many meetings every week. He said that my share about this being my first meeting ever was exactly why he was meant to be there.
Some people could see that as yeah it’s something nice to say to the new guy. But, I really felt he meant it spiritually and I felt like I was meant to go to that meeting so we could meet and now he is teaching me piece by piece how to live a full and sober life.
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