I was so drunk that I kept falling down. My blood alcohol was probably around 2.0 and I was alone. I could’ve choked on my vomit.
That was about 2 months ago. I knew that I had to quit! I think that I threw away my glasses that night because I haven’t been able to find them. Luckily I have contacts to wear…
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A three day, LSD-fueled binge KINDA left me feeling desperate.
And, desperation can make you do funny things ‐ some of which are potentially helpful.
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I never did anything too bad. Maybe some Facebook posting that I don’t remember. But for me, the end of my drinking was simply a case of “enough”. I knew I was slowly killing myself and I just didn’t want to die.
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Too many to mention… 
I haven’t got a long enough sobriety period to have stopped yet
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I fell into a deep dark depression that almost led me to commit suicide…
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I laid in bed for a week and didn’t eat food or drink water for 7 days. I only got up to use the bathroom and go to the corner store right outside my house to buy more booze. I would show up right when they opened. I was extremely suicidal and just drinking to gather the courage to kill myself or hoping that I just wouldn’t wake up one night from drinking and taking my meds.
I felt so sick and so weak when I stood up I probabaly should have gone to the hospital. But I took a long shower where I almost passed out, forced myself to eat some food and chugged a bunch of water. I then quickly after started going to the gym to relieve my anxiety from detoxing and found a meeting near the house I’ve been staying.
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Red wine. Couldn’t remember the next day and danced with a stranger. No touching but enough to upset hubby 
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I took about 4 Ubers that totaled over $40 and couldn’t remember even one of the places I had gone too. Complete blackout. At least I took ubers and didn’t drive and also was able to trace back everywhere I’ve been (all bars). That scared the hell out of me…I went to about 3 to 4 bars and couldn’t tell you what I did or who I spoke to at any of them?! Was I a zombie? What did I say? I don’t even want to pass by any of them in fear of the bartenders saying I made a fool out of myself which is very likely! I also went out with $350 and when I came to at about 3pm the next day only had $1.00 left. $1.00. I get extremely generous when drunk and want to buy strangers drinks (most likely to be liked and accepted and just get taken advantage of).
This was the last straw for me.
I felt so 
mad the next day and hungry, didn’t even have money for food cause I had spent it all on booze and didn’t want to take more money out of my joint bank account with hubby since he knew how much money I had… just a complete shit storm.
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It was an overall thing for me. I was taking 7 to 10 mgs of benzos each morning to get rid of the anxiety from drinking the night before. They started wearing off earlier and earlier and I’d take them before work was over, right before I’d go to the bar. And I took then at night too, to sleep through the 3 am panic attacks. I couldn’t breath, i was constantly lightheaded, I could hardly function. That last night it was take my entire prescription on xanax (around 75 mgs) and never wake up again, or go to the hospital the next day. I went to the hospital, got put into a torturous detox, and the rest is history. That was 6/18/17. I took a bunch of xanax that morning to get to the hospital, so I count my overall sobriety date as 6/19/17.
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It was a Sunday morning. Got home from church and went straight to my workshop. I didn’t have work to do. I had drinking to do. Spent the next 6 hours drinking and then passed out. Wife woke me up at 5pm and asked if I was going to make dinner. I said “no” and went to bed. Woke up the next day, hungover and full of regret for selfishly burning a whole day drinking. My wife had such sadness in her eyes. I felt so convicted, I decided in that moment that I never wanted to see that sadness ever again. I decided never to drink again…and I haven’t.
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My last drink wasn’t bad by my standards. It was a decent night really, I didn’t hurt myself or anyone else. I just knew it was my last night of drinking.
I quit because I was facing DCS problems, my kids were already in foster care, I didn’t like being in the back of cop cars for fighting, or being involuntarily commited to behavioral health facilities. I quit because I was full of self loathing and disgust, I was self destructive and suicidal.
Lots changed since that drink 16 months ago.
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Sundaymorning, huge hang over, went to the groceriestore to get bread and can (0,5 liter) of 11,6 % beer drank that secretly in 4 minutes (on the street)…than 6 hours later I went to the store again secretly…did the same thing. I really hated my self, felt embassed, guilty, bad to the bone, not be able to trust myself and I decided I wanted to love myself again…and than I would a good mom to my kids again…they deserve that…
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Nothing crazy. Talked to much for sure. I’m just done. I’ve had enough.
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When you find out let me know cause it was a complete blackout, but that’s ok because I will never allow myself to go there again.
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Wrecked my car by hitting something (I don’t remember what) broken windshield on the way to church at 1030 in the morning. Was yelled at in the parking lot by a Minister in recovery, rescued and taken under the wing by a couple (who I swear (?) was the couple in Breaking Bad who was his old business partner and his wife) THEN on the way home (yes I drove 20 miles in my wrecked car) pulled into a grocery store for vodka and nicked a car in the parking lot. She yelled at me too.
That was a day I did not get arrested. Had I been caught I would have faced serious prison time because I was on a deferred sentence.
I quit drinking the next day- Rock Bottom. Hit! 
Happily clean and sober 890 days now.
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Many things happened. In the end I was becoming a person I didn’t want to be at all and I was killing my body. One day I begged my HP for help and it answered. I relapsed 2x on my journey, now I’m feeling stable and I love life again.
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Reading this thread is giving me the goosebumps. This will be a thread that I reread over and over to remind myself of the Before Time. I will do anything to keep this truly glorious life that I have now. I never knew how good life is on this side.
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Woke up on a Saturday to get ready for my friends child’s 1st birthday party. While getting ready I had 2 Bud Lights and 2 shots of Jim all before noon. Then headed off to the party. Got to the party around 12:30pm continued hanging out with the dads and bbqing and drinking. I ended up leaving around 2:30pm really drunk but with total composure of my self.And mind you I drove both ways. Got home at about 3pm and passed out on my couch. I then woke up at 6pm to get ready to watch the Ufc fights at my other friends house, and I was still legally drunk. I ended up having 2/12 beers while I was there. I only ended up getting through half of my last beer which was a Sierra Nevada. Then came home went to sleep and woke up the biggest hangover. I ended up reevaluating my life that Sunday. Who in the hell gets so drunk attend a kids birthday? This guy did.
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It was the anxiety I could not stand. For years a vicious circle of drinking to calm anxiety but it was mostly that what caused it.
My last night scared me
I’d sank a whole bottle of whiskey
I did this every night and usually looked still kinda sober but I fell bk as the tide was in ( I live on a boat) and hit the back of neck hard on a glass table. The thought my husband wud have found me scared me.
Funny enough I don’t fall over now when the tide is in 
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Doing the same thing I’d done every night for the 2-3 years before it: Drinking myself to sleep alone at home ignoring my life slowly unraveling around me. For sure there were times before I drank “harder” and acted out more. At the worst of it though I was just quietly dying in a slow, self-inflicted and isolated prison. That alone didn’t make me want to stop, completely numb at that point.
The last night I remembered a friend who was recently open about his sobriety and posted his Sober Time timer. I downloaded the app, cuz why not, and discovered this forum. I identified with so much of what I read.
More than that I saw people who had gotten through all of it and more. I saw it didn’t have to be like it was ever again. I felt the depth of “if nothing changes then nothing changes” and grabbed on to something different.
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