I can’t even think of how many times I’ve tried to quit drinking and pill popping. Doing the math: attempting to quit at least twice a month since I realized this was a problem…. approximately 432 times- and thats on the low side. Thats a lot of rainbow relapsing!
However, this time around I’ve realized that that’s all I tried to do; quit. I never attempted “recovery”. So then I asked myself, what does it mean to ‘recover’?
To recover from something means to, “to get back or regain”, “to reclaim from a bad state, practice, etc.”
To re- cover something means to, “to cover again or anew”
Having been through about 13 surgeries I know what it takes to ‘recover’. You need to rest and let your body heal, which depending on the damage caused, takes time. You need to properly care for and nurse the injuries, a process that can be very painful. (all those surgeries introduced me to an eclectic variety of prescription meds go figure)
So, I decided that for me “recovery” means to get back to my previous state of potential before I started abusively using mind altering substances. Because I was so young when I started using such substances, I didn’t realize the potential I was covering over or how I was damaging the innate qualities that I had that made me, ‘me’. I really turned a bright future into a mediocre existence. If I remove the alcohol and other toxic elements that I’ve clothed my soul with for so long, then I’ll begin to uncover this buried potential that has been muffled and suppressed for so long and finally start living a quality life worth being proud of.
I believe that the only way you can truly keep something is by giving it away, so I dedicate each day of my sobriety to someone on this forum. Today I send all of my love and support to @owlgirl95 You CAN do this! It DOES get easier! Don’t just “quit”, “re-cover” yourself with love for yourself and the journey! I believe in you, I believe in me, I believe in all of us!
I’d like to ask this forum: What does “recovery mean to you?
You are truly the sweetest! I love how strong willed and strong minded you are. I can only hope to think like you do someday. You are so inspiring keep up the good work
Mahalo! Today I am feeling weak and wanting. I’ve had a rough couple of days (to say the least) and Im feeling without motivation and burt out. =(
I honestly don’t know if I have to will to make it through the day
Thank you, that just made me cry. You have NO IDEA how much I appreciate your words. <3
I am strong at times but my greatest weakness is my sensitivity and someone treated me very unkind yesterday and the past few days. It made me realize that since I grew up being such an outlet for emotional bullies, I’ve learned how to react to it internally by numbing the pain rather than communicating externally and telling people to f off.
Having to actually process the hurt inflicted up me by others is difficult, especially since it exposes just how much I’ve allowed others to influence my self destructive habits. It really does go against my nature to constantly be turning off my feelings, but confrontation is just as internally conflicting. I didn’t realize just how much I have to undo lol.
Thank you for being my strength today! You were my lifesaver on this dark and stormy day!
I’m glad to hear that. you are so strong, much stronger than you know. don’t let this negative treatment get you down when you are on your way to rising to the top! part of recovery is staying sober and staying strong when rough things comes our way. I am 100% positive you more than anyone else can do this!!!
Thank you dear friend! I made it! Sometimes it’s true that sometimes others believe in us before we believe in ourselves.
Tonight I took a couple hours to myself (minus one of my k9 besties) and went to watch the sunset and thanked the day that it brought me the kind words from you and @marty -both of which kept me sober another day! Thank you with all of my heart for sharing your strength with me! All of my aloha and here is a little bit of Hawaii for you ️:gift:
To me its a whole new way of life.Its choosing how I want to be remembered and what will help me sleep at night and wake up without regrets.Sobriety means having the chance to be a good wife, friend and daughter. It means getting to the gym every day or getting out into nature and finding a different outlet.
It means getting to enjoy things I deprived myself from.
It also means not leaning into the tiolet and puking all day.It means not avioding my texts because I wrote something stupid.
It also means I have to find the strength to tell friends and family no to drinks. I also have to find the strength to forgive myself for the things Ive done and get to know the good parts of me so I can learn to love myself more.
Recovery to me means becoming a member of the human race again being helpfull to my fellow man living a healthy and sober life its worked for me for a few years now . hope everyone has a good day
I like your way of thinking . I do love the program its good to be a human again and not destroy myself and my souroundings in it all. I have a good day except i got the flew
Hey Friend! I’ve been missing you! Yay day 8! Im right behind you on 6, but this time with no intention of going back to day one… everything is different.
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its good to be a human again and not destroy myself and my souroundings in it all. I have a good day except i got the flew