Had a really good day today and now I can’t stop crying. I’ve wasted so much of my life being pissed and now my life will just be AA meetings and desperately trying not to drink. My partner probably hates the fact that we can never do the things we used to. Why did I have to be a fucking alcoholic?
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I’m sorry you’re feeling so down Sarah. But recovery is so much more than meetings. Now is the time for the rest of your life to begin. Now is the time to start actually living instead of letting life happen to you. You quit drinking, that’s the first step. Now the real work begins. A work of love, of finding yourself, healing yourself, finding connection to others, to find meaningful stuff to do, to finally live life.
I quit when I was 53. I’m in my bloody 60th year now. Yes I missed out on stuff through 40 years of addiction. But I’m living now. And I’m not at all desperately trying not to drink. It’s such a good riddance friend. So glad to live my life without stupid alcohol. My life has changed in ways totally unimaginable when I started out on this journey. Hang in there, keep going, don’t go it alone and do the work. You can do this! 
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Emotions are all over the place in early sobriety. I can honestly say I am having Fun and Real Fun without alcohol. Stay strong …
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Where you really living and enjoying yourself before though? Really? There is ALOT more to life than spending it drinking, drunk or hungover thats for sure.
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Hi Sarah, I’m a Sarah too 
…. I wanted to tell you that I think you are amazing for starting your sober journey. In the beginning I too felt like you describe but I have to tell you that my life is now a million times better!!! I have been and am still on this journey and Ive really been focusing on why I needed to ‘escape’ why did I have to pickle myself night after night with shitty alcohol…. It’s been hard at times, eye opening and it’s been a constant job working on myself. But it is so worth it…. My god, did I have a bloody awful childhood, I was so badly mistreated, abused and ignored as a young adolescent…. I now realised what it is that I had to silence. And with time I am slowly healing…The urge to drink and the feeling that life will be rubbish without booze is no longer there! Once I was clear headed and could take the time being gentle with myself I discovered a lot of free time in which I filled doing things that I really enjoy. I felt I had to reach out and tell you that YOU ARE WORTH A SOBER LIFE! We all are! It does get easier and I promise that it won’t always feel this way for you, I truly promise. Please keep going ! We can do this together….
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Hey Sarah
We’ve all been there… but you know what, you CAN change the way you feel about this. Your mind is just neuron and you can rearrange them.
I did a lot of reading and listening to podcasts but for me it wasn’t until I read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace that I finally got it. I don’t know if it will help, but it’s worth a try?
The past is gone, there is no point dwelling on it… but you can control tomorrow.
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It’s a relatable feeling. Like mourning. The feeling like we’re losing something. Very real when we go through any change.
There’s good here though. It’s not only about what were surrendering, but what we’re gaining!
It may not seem like it today, but as time goes on there’s so much more to look forward to.
I didn’t realize until working my sobriety, how much time I was losing to the bottle. How much I wasn’t really there even when I was. Now my worst days sober seem so much better than my best days drunk.
If you can see where you want to go and keep walking towards it, you’ll be there before you know it. And it can be so much better than the never ending trap of the bottle! It’s a big, big world.
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Thank you so much everyone I’d been feeling so positive that this just hit me like a tonnne of bricks. I hear what you’re all saying and it makes perfect sense. I had a little cry, some food and now I’m chilling and feeling calmer. I would have immediately gone for a drink feeling like this normally but instead I turned to you guys which I guess is progress! Thank you xx
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Recovery is what happens outside of meetings. Meetings are just there to carry a message and meet with our fellows. You may find some peace and freedom from going through the steps, I certainly am.
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Good for you! You did a helpful thing today (for everyone: you caring for your health and your recovery - which includes these natural feelings - is part of the journey).
One day at a time 
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What you’re describing is exactly what happened to me today. Thank you for sharing your experience so I can also read this thread and remember why sobriety is so worth it!! Hugs
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Stop being so hard on yourself shit happens hun can’t dwell on the past you just gotta move forward take it day by day and as far as this partner goes if he can’t support you in this then he’s not worth it ur responsible for ur recovery so guard it as much as possible
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The biggest piece of advice I could give you is that you WILL have days like this. It is GOING to happen. The harsh reality of things is that we, as alcoholics, can’t control everything… especially after the FIRST drink. Yes, it will be difficult, NO it will not be easy. These things shall pass. As all things do. I promise.
Just hold your head high and know that we are with you through it all. Reach out. I promise you won’t regret it in the least.
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Thank you My partner is supportive, I think I’m projecting my feelings onto him! Xx
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Nothing in this world stopping you enjoying your sobriety , my wife and i travel the world meeting new people and we go to dances for meals bowling the gym together i also speak at meetings all over the world theres nothing in front of you that you cant do with the power behind you , wish you well dont know if you have a sponsor if not maybe get one, lifes for living wish you well
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Humans don’t like to put pain before pleasure (sleepless nights, working hard, gym training). We choose pleasure first despite the pain (drinking or drugs then hangover hell). We are willing to risk losing everything for one thing (alcohol). If you are an alcoholic, like me, you can’t drink at all because the wheels will fall off the bus.
Keep going, the world is ahead of you, beautifully unfiltered. Sobriety has given me EVERYTHING I never had when using.
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I am blessed to be an alcoholic. This led me to AA which led me to the Big Book which led me to God.
I couldn’t be happier to have been chosen to live this kind of life.
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Your life will be this, if that’s all you ever strive for. Set some goals and get after them!
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I know it’s hard to believe that you can have a better life. I know when I stopped it was like losing my best friend and I often thought “I’ll never have fun again.” And people with longer sobriety would tell me, I PROMISE it gets better and I PROMISE it will be worth it. I could not imagine that they really felt that way and were just trying to make me feel better. But next month is my 7 years free of alcohol. So I PROMISE you it is worth it.
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Thank you! I’m 2 weeks in now and I’m starting to believe it myself. 
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