Wow… I never expected this level of response to this post. Once I saw it started to take a life of its own, I decided to get out of the way and let it do its thing. Really grateful that 1) it’s been helpful, and 2) alllllllllll the years of experience of this community to help reinforce the truth about the permanency of alcoholism that I honestly think gives this post its power.
An update for y’all: Still Sober (aka normal)!!! Haven’t had a single drop since the day before my son’s birthday (5 1/2 months), and I’ve never looked back.
Peace12’s recent post really sums up how I feel:
I’ve seen a ton of alcohol billboard signs since then, been to about 5-10 happy hours with coworkers, hosted a ton of board game nights (usually THE trigger for alcohol consumption), and the only real emotion I’ve had towards alcohol since then has been disgust. I’m so grateful I don’t have to engage in that sham anymore.
10 days sober here and definitely needed to hear that. I have that thought in the back of my mind that I can drink again, even though I know it’s completely ludicrous. I’m an alcoholic. I’ll always be an alcoholic. But that addict brain does what it does. It’s up to me to fight it day in and day out. Always. I’m sorry you learned the hard way. I hope I am 10 days sober now and for the rest of my life. Thank you so much for sharing. Hope you are still doing well.
I love that book. I’ve only just started looking into smart recovery and there seems to be a lot of crossover between the methodology in the book and SMART. So I’m hoping they will mash well.
Thanks for posting this. I stopped drinking a month ago yesterday. I can’t stand my mood swings and had a passing thought ‘is this really worth it?’. This helps push the thought of ‘trying just one drink’ right out of my mind!!
Once I hit my annual sobriety milestone, I want to follow-up with some of my observations since embarking on my NEW year sobriety journey (spoiler alert: it’s been easy. I hate alcohol and it has been my pleasure giving it the middle finger forever), but until then I wanted to share a milestone I just hit this morning.
The picture on the left was taken just days after the 2017 new years I mention in my post (part of my wake up call that I had an alcohol problem). I weighed 240 (TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY!!!) pounds.
The picture on the right is me this morning, at 185.
(I was 240 in January 2017, dropped to 205 in my year of sobriety that this post talks about, and I ballooned up to 220 again when I started drinking again in 2018.)
To me, this picture represents my recovery from alcohol and the damage it’s done to my body and my life.
Just wanted to share this now to give y’all a quick update. I’ll be back in September after my son’s 2nd birthday to let y’all know how this past year of sobriety has gone. (It’s been everything I’ve wanted it to be.)
@Jdubs This is the first time I have read this thread. It has honestly made me a bit emotional - you must be intensely proud of the positive changes in your world. How lucky your little man is to have a Dad like you leading the way. You are an inspiration!
I honor you for being honest and making the decision to get back on the wagon. Your experience sounds a lot like mine. Eventually I thought I could control my drinking. I was a fool, but I am finally viewing things with eyes wide open. There’s no way I can go back. There’s no way any of us can.
Brilliant post man …I’ve just hit 9 months and those thoughts have crept into my head so many times,( and the whole experiment thing I can relate to so much) , but this is an illness and you are so right it’s never going to away or change …we are who we are , and it’s the honesty of people like yourself that keep me on the road to recovery …I really loved your post it honest and real and true …thankyou for posting man
Hello @Jdubs and others, and good luck on your sober journeys! I stopped using for a full year in 2017, however I ‘celebrated’ this with a relapse beginning of 2018. Foolishly thought I had it under control. Well it soon spiralled out of control to full-blown using again and I’ve been struggling with on and off relapses since then. So to me it’s all or nothing I guess, there’s no in-between. I also feel sometimes like its a pause button instead of a reset button, but still I am proud of that full year being clean, everything was much less foggy then. So I know of what I’m capable, stay strong
Awsome post dubs, brings real awareness to all us that are or have considered the same thing ,this illness is so clever it will twist your mind in every way possible , I’m less than 2 months away for hitting 1 year and the same thought patterns have gone round my head so many times , but reading your post not only reinforces the reality that I CANNOT DRINK, things wont change and I will be back in that dark place I’ve spent the last year walking away from…thankyou so much for posting your a legend ( lol just realised I had read this post in august and replied …such a good post it deserves 2 replies )
( lol just realised I had read this post in august and replied …such a good post it deserves 2 replies