A wise person once asked me “is your goal to stop drinking or is your goal to get your drinking under control ?” . At first i was puzzled but overtime i came to understand . Many of us say we want to be completely sober and never drink again, when in reality we want to be able to drink just without the self destruction and spiral downhill that usually comes with it . I think we should all ask ourselves this question before and during our journey . After all only when we are truthful with our intentions can the real healing and change began .
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Welcome to the community, I think that for the vast majority of the people here who have alcohol issues they have already spent years trying to get their drinking under control so that they can drink or what they perceive to be normal drinkers of which there isn’t really such a thing imo. They have done to the conclusion the hard way that they must abstain completely, sure for the most part they would like to drink normally and many may cling on to that for a little while but when they start to put in the work they lose that wish and become content in fact passionate about being completely sober. 
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I totally agree. While I still wanted to drink, but just without the consequences, I was stuck. And I was stuck a hell of a long time. Once I accepted fully not drinking was the only way, I could move forward.
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hi good question
at the beginning i always wanted to be able to handle alk normally as before. that means a glass of wine to eat … evaluate a grappa after a good dinner or toast to the new year with proseggo.
but i had to realize or rather admit to myself that i have exceeded this limit and cannot go back. the connection to the normal handling of alcohol is destroyed and no longer passable. because if I drink now it’s only about quick and a lot … because afterwards you are not allowed to.
now I’ve actually resigned myself to it. I just have to stop trying to cope with some of my problems with the alk … but I don’t think I can go back to this knowledge anymore and wanting to do it again for a long time and always
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Thank you for bringing this up. For me, this was a powerful question I had to ask myself, and i had to ask myself over and over, and over. Every time I stopped drinking I wanted it to be temporary, to help myself find some kind of mythical balance. Yeah, I’m sure we all know how that turned out.
So this is my first actual go at absolute sobriety. This is the first time working recovery. This is the first time saying that my TRUE goal is complete abstinence for the rest of my life. And you know what? Over 2 years and 9 months of sobriety and recovery, uninterrupted, no relapses, and I’m really starting to see the results of my decision. I will never go back. And it is all because I made my final choice.
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Moderate drinking not working for me. So my answer is NO for alkohol and drugs. 
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My issue is drugs. I didn’t think I had a problem with drinking other than 1 really bad decision while drinking. After detox, I was thinking what’s the harm in drinking on occasion since it’s not my DOC. But I came on here and read a lot and found so many threads saying, it’s trading one addiction for another. I’m glad I did the research before picking up that 1st drink. This is my first go at sobriety and I haven’t had any slips or relapses in 6 months.
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Oh yes, I spent years trying to figure out how I could drink without the baggage…haha on me, as the baggage is all my stuff I need(ed) to address. I so wanted to find that secret combination that would set me free to drink and not suffer the consequences. That was my fantasy.
Reality is that my experience of life is SO much better not drinking at all. I really had zero idea that was possible. Seriously. Who knew life could feel so good sober? That my brain would feel so much less congested and my emotions less dark.
It took a long long while for me to realize this, but I am thankful I did. Once I got this and got sober, I was able to start my true work of understanding and loving myself to a healthier life.
Great topic!! And welcome!!!
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Thank you for your responses and hello to all . Through my journey of alcoholism i have come to realize that alot of people see completely abstaining from alchohol is essential but also a "punishment " in a sense . They will go on for months even years preaching about how happy they are of being alcohol free but all it takes is one small thing to go wrong in their lives and they end up back where they started . I just want to offer people a different take at what we call getting sober . Now granted learning to become a controlled drinker isnt for everyone and takes alot of self discipline which i believe many of us alcoholics . Learning to overcome something that used to have so much dominion over you brings a feeling of empowerment and strength that transcends beyond just recovery . It becomes part of your psyche and shows you how much you are truly capable of in this life . As stated before i know this isnt for everyone but to the ones who might be out there take the time to look yourself in the mirror and see what it is that you deep down desire … my goal here is not to offend anymore just offer perspective to all who have become stronger from abstaining i commend you tremendously 
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I know I cannot drink like a normal person because I am not a normal person. I am an alcoholic and I cannot have just one drink. I drank until I was stinking drunk. I had bottles stashed all over the house. Being disabled I had to get creative about getting alcohol in the first place. I found a discount super liquor store that delivers! How convenient is that. Too convenient actually. No, controlling my drinking is only possible by not drinking at all. If you are an alcoholic and think you can drink socially you are fooling yourself and you are in for another huge bender.
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My true goal is top stop alcohol from destroying my life. I’ve given the old “control it” method a try, it’s not possible for “alcoholics”, it is possible for “problem drinkers”. I guess it’s important for people finding hope they can drink again from this thread to realise what kind of drinker they are. If you believe you are an alcoholic moderation is almost certainly not an option. I am an alcoholic.
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I would rather go through life sober wondering if I can drink safely, than go through life drunk wondering if I can stop.
My goal is not to drink today. Over halfway there!
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I tried for years to moderately drink. But I am an alcoholic and could never just have one drink, and if I had one drink, one drink would become 10 drinks or more. I was the type to drink myself stupid, every single time. 36 days sober today and I still have the thought “maybe this time I can drink responsibly” but that’s just the addiction talking. I know sobriety is what I want and to achieve that is to not drink at all. For me it’s all or nothing.
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I used to think like many people here but then I found smart recovery and learned about abstinence versus moderation. I learned that I had a tilting point in which after that amount I would continously drink. Once I became dedicated to self-discipline like going to the gym everyday I set a goal for how much alcohol I could consume without continously drinking. It has now been 5 years and I have a drink occasionally with impunity maybe I’m not an alcoholic and maybe I was a problem drinker. 
Either way I see it, this is a problem of the spirit and of the mind at it’s core.
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My goal is simple: Enjoy my time here on Earth. Drinking put a stop to my happiness.
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I began this journey with abstinence. In my abstinence I thought my life would improve by removing the alcohol.
Now I have sobriety and I know that alcohol was merely a symptom of my disease. I was the problem. My “ism” was what made me broken.
Today I have found a new attitude and outlook on life. I’m happy and I work on myself daily. Provided I practice the principles I’ve learned in all my affairs, carry the message, and stay spiritually fit. I am recovered. The obsession to drink is non existant. I have a daily reprieve ( pardon from a death sentence )contingent on my spiritual nature. I’m happy and sobriety is so much more than abstinence. 
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Are you aware this idea or way of thinking could kill my brothers and sisters who are real alcoholics? Please do not post this rubbish.
This is a fatal disease. I don’t believe encouraging anyone to drink as a solution is appropriate at any level.
I’ve read this 3 times and maybe I’m missing something here but it sure seems as though your implying an real alcoholic can moderate their drinking. If I’m misinterpreting I apologize. Otherwise please don’t take other people’s lives in your hands if your choosing to wear the gloves of carelessness
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World Domination 
kidding. I know as an addict, that letting go of control is what it is all about.
I am powerless over alcohol and powerless over life. But there is a solution…
My goal is to be connected, get to know myself, accept and love myself. Fulfill my unique potential and live a honest, healthy and happy life with honest, healthy and happy relationships. I know that this is achievable if I don’t pick up the first drink.
Great question and answers.
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Love this, as it was what I finally asked myself when I decided to stop. Like many, here at least, I woke up from another alcohol binge feeling miserable, worthless and wanting to crawl into myself and disappear. Asked myself if this is really my life and decided it doesn’t have to be.
I want to be “normal”. I’ve made many attempts at “normal” drinking and keeping my other doc’s around trying to exercise self control. One is fine. Then two. Then ALL of it is gone and I’m in Oblivion making horrible decisions and acting like a dick.
So my goal is to not be “normal”. It’s to be honest with myself and realize my normal is not society’s normal. For me, I simply can’t drink or use certain things the way they’re supposed to be used. So I’ll just sit here and try my best to be my honest normal self to my utmost ability.
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I just want peace in my life…and I can’t do that with alcohol. So forever sobriety is the means to the end.
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