When you make the decision to completely stop doing whatever you want, and the days continue to pass and life continues as it is, with its problems, its challenges, and its difficulties, you begin to ask yourself, what next? Is it just a matter of counting days, or is there something bigger than just stopping a bad habit?
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Yes: starting good ones.
In addiction, we neglect everything - we do not do anything - except our addiction. As a result, that’s all we think of. Life is either “doing the addiction” or “not doing the addiction”. This is the obsession.
In living - in vibrant, growing recovery - we give up our addiction, yes, and it seems like a lot to give up considering it’s been our whole life for so long. But the truth is the addiction is shallow. It’s hollow, empty, unfulfilling.
In living - in recovery - we have a chance to develop interests, to make true friendships, to enjoy nature and food and theatre plays and gardening and all the stuff we never had time or money for while we were addicted. At first, it is weird - these are new activities - but in time we realize that this is real life, and what we had before (the addiction) was death.
Welcome to the land of the living dead (sorry, zombie joke). Seriously though: you are learning to live. It will take time to get used to it. Stick with it, explore your interests, and spend some time in recovery groups or here on Talking Sober. Soon you’ll find your rhythm.
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LIFE!!! And all the enjoyment it has to offer!! A beautiful sunset or even a clear headed sunrise! The beach or the mountains! New flavors in a new meal that got made with your own hands! A painting or furniture made! A two hour phone call to a long lost childhood friend! A venti hot Caramel Machiatto from Starbucks! A binge watch of a fav show on Netflix! A trip to Disneyland or Disneyworld or Six Flags or even the zoo! A trip to Hawaii or New York! A trip to Asia or Europe…Canada or Chili!! Soft warm comfy pajamas in a big fluffy comforter on a cold night with a big pillow! Skydiving or scubadiving! School and a dream job! A new pet fish! A new funky outfit! Exploring a new hiking trail! Make new friends! Roll down the grassy hill at the park! Open Google maps and walk down the street in a foreign land! Play hours of candycrush! Man I can go on and on!! The world is your oyster!! Live it up!!
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Exactly, what is next? There is for sure more than counting days. I’m never sure what my day count is this days. There is definitely discovering (or rediscovering) the activities that bring us joy and satisfaction. Hobbies, work, study, etc. There is also discovering (or rediscovering) about ourselves. What makes us tick, what we want, what our boundaries are. I had lost a grasp on all of those things in my drinking days.
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