Hey…congrats on your sobriety. There’s nothing wrong with you per se…other than, like most people here you, our addiction is a persistent devil. Drugs,alcohol and cigarettes were all things I put down (not all at the same time…but all eventually) my framing totally changed when I realized that the first sips,lines,drags of these vices wasn’t calming me…but rather, it was my addicted body chemistry and nervous system getting the biochemical FOX that it needed that made me realize…the drugs weren’t CALMING me…their absence was AGITATING ME. When that lightbulb clicked, I began to see those substances for what they really were. I just finished a month long 15 credit masters degree intensive…holy hell was that a lot. In our wrap up zoom meeting I realized almost everyone was drinking a glass of champagne, wine or beer and everyone had that “ohh thankfuckinggodthatsover” attitude. I realized…there was a time when I could not have imagined relaxing or celebrating or getting done with something without that “ohthankfuckinggodineedadrink” vibe. I was one of the few people to get all assignments in by the deadline. My work was consistently at the top of the group…and my thought when I submitted the final assignment? “Wow! Fantastic work you…I’m really so proud of you…let’s take an epsom salt bath and listen to a good book on audible”. I say this not to toot my own horn…I’m a schlep at best…it’s more to let you know that once the vice grip of addiction/use/calm/need more/come down/crave has left you for a while…it really does subside. Keep fighting. You’re worth it. 
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Oh! And toss that beer…ain’t nobody got time for that… 
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