*I haven’t fallen off the wagon, I’m still going strong-ish, but a very very good friend of mine has fallen by the wayside.
He had 15 years sobriety coming up for 16 years, and now he’s back to day one.
He was my first Sponsee, when I was based in Lincoln (UK not Nebraska), we clicked immediately and he thought the same way about the AA program as I did, which made going through the steps a ‘walk in the park’.
When I moved to Sheffield; 57 miles from Lincoln, but almost a 2hr drive, l passed the primary sponsor baton over to another member of the fellowship whom he had choosen.
We still talked on a very regular basis and met up for F2F’s; usually when I went to visit my Sponsor (who is in Lincoln).
So that’s the background to this post, but what this post is really about is My guilt and My feelings of helplessness around his relapse.
I know and understand that I can’t work the program for him, but only provide support and direction; but I still feel that I could have done more, what more I don’t know🤔.
He’s coming over to visit on Saturday and he wants me to be his Sponsor again, which I’ve wholeheartedly agreed to.
The reason/reason’s for his relapse aren’t clear at the moment, but I 'll do some ‘old style’ rummaging around in his mind when he comes over to my house.
I’m a qualified (PhD) Phycologist or as I prefer to call myself a Phycoanalist, so I’m happy, prepared and armoured to dig around in his phyce.
But, this is where my guilt trip starts.
Could I, should I have done more and
why didn’t I pick up on his state of mind from the physical and verbal signals?
The only solace I have at the moment is that we Alkies are consummate liars and we can distort the facts to mask what’s really going on to suit our own agenda, and that goes for body language as well; so in essence:
We Alkies are actors more than worthy of multiple Oscars for every day we act out in active addiction.
He’s back on the wagon now, but I get the feeling he’s hanging on to it by his finger tips, which isn’t good.
I may have to (don’t want to) arrange for him to see one of my colleagues (Pro bono or I’ll pay) as sometimes telling your ‘dirty secrets’ and shortcomings, to a complete stranger who is bound by the Hippocratic Oath seems to be much easier and complete, I may be too close, but I should get most of it in his Step 4, if he’s rigorously honest.
My only requirement to be his Sponsor was that he does the steps again.
He may have to see a psychiatrist (same as above for payment), as I/we Phycologist’s can’t prescribe medication, if he needs any, but:crossed_fingers:
that he doesn’t.
That’s where I’m at the moment. Whatever happens it’s not to tip me off the wagon, which would be nasty as I’ve got the reigns and 6 horses out if control would not be good 
.
I know in 
and 
that my HP will see me through this, provided I listen to it.
If I can, without breaking the HO, I’ll post updates, but I will be strongly surgesting he joins our community
The takeaway from this is, however long you’ve been sober:
strong text
DON’T GET COMPLACENT, YOUR **SOBRIETY IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL **
TO THE WORK YOU PUT IN TO IT,; BASICALLY 'NO WORK, NO SOBRIETY.
While you’re not drinking you’re disease is doing press-ups and squats in the carpark therefore fully fit, just waiting for a chink in your armour that we all, wear as is apt because we fight a endless battle with a powerful & merciles enemy.
&
PM’s welcome.*