Over and over all the justifications… if I just drink on the weekends, if I never drink alone, if I never drink at home… whatever - I am on day 4, haven’t been here in?? I cannot control or manage my drinking at all.
Here I am now. It’s 4th of July. Independence day for the country I live in and love. Watching the news this morning all I see is alcohol. All I hear is talk of drinking and celebrating. I am invited to a friends lake home but I’m terrified to go.
Right this minute I’m just sitting on my patio hoping this cup of coffee will never become empty…
You’re not alone, this is my first sober 4th of July too!
Day 4 was tricky for me, I’d spend hours in my own head trying to justify that drink like you had mentioned. I’ve had many day fours that lead to day ones. One thing that helped me was watching videos on youtube about the changes of being sober for a year (which there are a ton of videos on BTW). To see and hear people like me go a year without booze was inspirational, I wanted that for my self, and to see many people achieve it, I knew it was within grasp, I just had to reach out and grab it. Those videos kept me occupied and focused for the first week or two.
But as for today, it’s just another Thursday. I’m going to go to work for a couple hours and then come home and spend some time with my kids, and neighbors permitting, go to bed at a decent hour.
Just remember, it’s ok not to drink.
Happy 4th and congrats on day 4, let’s make it day 5, yeah?!
Don’t go to your friends party. You know where that leads. Isn’t INDEPENDENCE Day the perfect day to really push yourself into your new sober life? I can’t think of a more perfect representation of what we all are doing.
I know it is hard, wanting to socialize and drink like we do without all the horrible decisions and consequences, but that isn’t going to happen and we need to be honest with ourselves about that. No amount of moderation or bargaining is going to change the fact that we cannot drink like ‘normal’ people can. We just aren’t wired that way.
Once we lose the longing, bargaining, romanticizing and moderation myths, we find true sobriety and believe me…after 40 years of drinking it was like the most beautiful lightbulb going off and illuminating a new world I never knew existed when I truly got sober and over the wanting to be able to drink. A new sober world awaits and it really is different and peaceful and not full of all that anxiety and horrible actions and consequences and feeling like shit and acting the fool and being so very hungover and hating yourself and the shame, the terrible shame.
So…take baby steps in your sobriety. Baby yourself. Take warm baths, read, sleep, walk in nature, read all you can on here, go to a meeting (or not), try yoga, eat good food, chocolate! Ice cream! Sleep, binge watch Netflix, do a puzzle…do calming, meditative actvities to soothe yourself thru the early days, weeks, months…but don’t go to that party.
A beautiful new world awaits once the alcohol is gone.
When I first got sober I had to avoid parties and a lot of situations where I used to drink. I wanted to stay sober so badly and I had to prioritize my sobriety. I couldn’t let myself be tempted and then wake up yet again with a hangover, full of self-loathing and guilt.
Do something different today. Your friends will get over it if you don’t go to a party. Put yourself first. Go to the gym, go hike, go run. Its It’s just another day, really. It’s a holiday celebrating American independence that has somehow turned into a holiday about getting drunk.
You will not regret it tomorrow if you stay sober today.
This is the first time I have posted a topic on here. And I cannot thank you all enough for making it the best thing I have done in quite some time.
I did not go to the party. I went for a sweaty 3 mile walk. I’m home with Netflix, some shrimp and coconut water. Feeling very happy with my choices today.
Meh. Don’t go. There’s too much emphasis on celebrating one day. Yes, it’s a good day, but you can celebrate your country any day, every day. The emphasis on poor food and drink choices makes me think it is just better to stay on that patio having your bottomless coffee!!
what to do today I don’t know being locked up in the house because it’s coronavirus shit it’s ridiculous and we as addicts isolation is the worst thing for us so I had a meeting today with my group and what I’ve learned was you know distract yourself do something fun and what I doing it sounds ridiculous but I honestly when I’m stressed out I honestly like doing my makeup I do my makeup take a couple pictures you know and then wash it all off how ridiculous it sounds it helps me out you guys gotta find out things that will help you out and distract yourself so you’re not in your head or looking at all these same four walls over and over and over yeah do something that’s positive that will distract you that won’t let you want to use you got this guy’s we got this as a team us addicts gotta stick together especially right now while this coronavirus is happening we’re on shutdown if anyone wants to message me go ahead I would love to talk to anyone I love talking to people I need to talk to people it helps with my recovery
