For some it will be visualizations for others they hear voices like ‘one can’t do any harm’, ‘I’ll try tomorrow again’ etc. I got a tip to personalize the voices into someone you know and dislike. I pretend my ex boss is saying these disturbing and tempting lines to buy wine or have one on a terrace now the sun is shining here. And when this nagging voice begins I say to him to shut the hell up. That he must leave me alone and so on. (Not out loud of course when I’m outside). It’s a big relieve to yell at him in my mind and it makes me laugh to behave like that. Wish I dare to do that when he was still my boss
Anyway, it works for me, maybe you can try it too.
I reading a book right now and it’s discussed urges and not to react, resist, or distract but to OBSERVE the urge. Feel the urge in your body, take a couple deep breaths, don’t be afraid of the urge because it you sit with it long enough and stay present the urge will eventually go away on its own. You are not at it’s mercy- you always have free will.
It’s goes on to discuss more on how to observe your urges:
first take several slow deep breaths, remind yourself that urges are normal and every urge will eventually pass. Notice any tension is in your body. Pay attention to your jaw, hands, forehead, shoulder etc. Find areas of tension move your focus there and take a deep breath. See if you can notice where in your body the urge resides. Scan your body from feet to the crown of your head. Be on the look out for any physical changes (sweating, heart racing, tension). Pay attention to any thoughts that come up. What thoughts run through your mind when observing the urge? Keeping breathing. The urge will subside if you are open to observing. See if you can notice the urge peak and then taper off. You might notice it comes in waves, which is normal and nothing to worry about, it’s just your habit on repeat.
I’m currently trying to remember to “observe” when I have an urge. It is hard though specially when I’m in the moment. I think it takes practice.
You are insightful There is a relationship between fear and courage; the one cannot exist without the other.
Our emotions are evolutionary developments; they are part of our survival & health. Each emotion indicates something we need. (Anger indicates a line has been crossed, disgust indicates something is unhealthy or unwholesome, etc etc.)
Fear is what we feel when there’s a threat. Threat isn’t always a bad thing - for example, the threat of losing a cooking competition doesn’t mean you shouldn’t join; the worst that could happen is you’d learn more about cooking - so the key thing, with fear, is taking time to label the threat that’s creating the fear. (In the case of the cooking contest, the threat could be to your pride, which might be hurt by losing. [Just an example ])
What exactly am I afraid of? What do I think is threatened by ____? Etc etc.
Give it some thought over the next few days and I’m sure you’ll gain some insight.
You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
Thank you so so so much. Understanding what’s going on in me head is indeed the key to success. I’ll think about all that and I’m sure I’ll find that there is nothing I should be afraid of, except staying where I already am.
There is a relationship between fear and courage; the one cannot exist without the other.