Whats your take?

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I feel it’s probably a good idea.
All I know is, my feelings and emotions were all over the place my first couple of years of sobriety. Thankfully I’m married and didn’t have to think about a dating scene or anything like that.

Managing my sobriety and feelings and not picking up was enough work for this guy.
:pray:t2::evergreen_tree::mountain_snow::green_heart:

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Ha, joke’s on them, I have never dated :sunglasses:

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haha yeah! :joy: you show them, Jan! :crazy_face:

@OP, if you can stay away, don’t date and distract yourself. I feel it’ll make sobriety and self discovery less in-depth. however, if you fall in love and it’s real, who’s to say.

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I put up a poll in the Stupid Poll thread a while back asking those with at least a year of sobriety asking if/how are they different from before sobriety.

88% of respondents said they either completely changed personality and/or had changes in goals, priorities and principles.

Sobriety changes us and often times, that change takes time. Starting new relationships early on may stunt that growth by causing unnecessary distractions. You also run the risk of “out growing” the new relationship. I think either is not really fair for either party.

I feel waiting at least a year is important.

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Having entered a relationship at 6 months and then another one at 9 months I’d say a year is a good minimum. I had no idea what a healthy relationship even was let alone how to be a healthy partner in a healthy relationship.

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Agree with this 100% I was one of those people that didnt take this advice when I joined 12 step mtgs. Dating in early recovery had me focusing on the relationship other than on myself and my recovery. In early recovery i honestly had very little to give a relationship anyway. I barely even loved myself to be honest, nevermind being in a position to love someone else. Not only that but the intense emotion (good or bad) that can come from a relationship, caused me to go back out. I would not recommend dating whatsoever in early recovery. Its like a head on train collison haha

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Where I’m from they say two years mate.

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Ive been happily in a relationship for 17years. Married for 9 of them years. I say work on yourself first. Before involving anyone elese. Love you more! Then you can love someone else.

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Agreed. It’s hard enough re-finding and adjusting yourself and your life to maintain sobriety …. particularly in that first year.

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Well, I was married when I decided to get sober but I would LOVE to be single for a year….if not longer.

And, I’m joking….but I’m also not joking. Being alone sounds absolutely heavenly right now

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I think it is important to assess how rapidly your personality, feelings and goals are changing. How can you know who and what you want if you are significantly different now than you were 3-6 months ago? And, is it fair to ask someone else to try to roll with those changes?

That being said, being a hermit also isn’t a healthy way to live. Eat, have coffee, do social things…but be way up front that you are working on yourself and appreciate friendship, but are not in a position to commit to anything except leashing your own demons for the forseeable future.

If the other person is worth your love, they will respect your limits and give you the space to figure out whatever it is you need to figure out to be ready for more permanence.

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