Hi all. First time posting but I have been following the forum for a little while. I’ve been drinking pretty heavily for 10 years now and I’ve known it’s a problem for a lot of that time but as I’m a functional drinker the help I can get is so limited, I’m just interested in how people made the decision to cut it out completely? I’m struggling with the idea of being 30 and never drinking again!
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I am turning 31 soon and am in the same boat as you. My husband used to drink and he quit about two years ago after a night of drinking turned into a really bad night of choices for him, and him not remembering. I am terrified of this happening to me. I also want to have an baby sometime soon and I don’t want alcohol to be something I battle into motherhood. Lastly, I use alcohol to treat problems that could be worked through just by talking to people or seeing a counselor. I don’t want to have a crutch, I don’t want to avoid things and I want to be strong. Me drinking doesn’t allow for any of that.
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I relate a lot to your story. I just turned 32 & had been drinking heavily since 21 but was a functional alcoholic, never messing up my life or health enough for anyone else to confront me or even realize my problem was alcohol except my roommate in college & later boyfriend I lived with. I knew I needed to stop someday as well but didn’t feel the desperation a lot of people do hitting a bottom that catalyzes them to have the resolve & urgency to stop. So I decided the day before I turned 32 to go to an AA meeting because even though I knew I didn’t have the resolve yet, I wanted to have it & free myself of alcohol in my next year. That was my gift to myself at 32. Some women who came up to me to welcome me at the end were so encouraging about that. I went on to drinking still but the seed had been planted hearing what could happen down the road from all those brave people there. I started exploring more & read some of AA’s big book, listened to speakers on youtube, & journaled SO much. I made an overview of my life the past 10 years & how drinking played into it. Looking at it like that, i saw the pattern & magnitude of alcohol’s effect on my life. Each instance, damaged relationship or opportunity seemed more isolated & less related to alcohol at the time. I recommend the same gift for your 31st bday. Go to a meeting & just listen. The seed will be planted. Journal & take a really good look at how drinking has effected you, not just in direct damage & destruction but robbing you of developing better coping mechanisms, health, decisions, &relationships. What would be possible for you without it? I hope that helps you gather enough resolve to know it it has to change & it has gone on too long. Good for you for starting this journey! & happy early birthday! Hopefully year 31 will be the year you release yourself from alcohol & start to realize your full potential :).
I’m on day 4 so just starting too but I am sure it is time now!
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Im 35 i was a mess full of shame , guilt , lived a double life almost my whole life .alcohol and drugs .IT was so bad i was minutes away from killing myself. Shouted for help psyciatric hospital, rehab .now AA And sponsor. Working the steps…
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I just turned 31 and ive been sober for 42 days. I look at it like this; I had 13 years of continuous drinking and drugging where I don’t remember most of the time. Ive done terrible things to loved ones especially my wife, ive lost my closest friends and my health was going down fast. My thought is not “im never going to drink again, ooh no” but rather “i don’t have to drink anymore” and I get to be able to live happily with myself and not hurt loved ones and keep friends i meet in my life. If you look at your life and realize alcohol only has negative affects on you and the bad out way the good, then you can decide which way you want to go.
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I decided to stop when i woke up in the hospital and had no idea what was going on. My daughter called 911 because i wasnt breathing. Ive worked very hard to support us over the years…losing everything or her just isnt worth it. I started going to counseling to confront what i was avoiding and being honest about my feelings. Its helped some.
I just remind myself how far ive come and why i dont wanna go back.
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I remember always having a good time drinking and out with friends on my 20s even thou I would do stupid things but looking back on the past I knew it was having a very negative effect on my life. Recently I turned 33 and continued to drink even in a leadership position. I became less able to control my drinking and would sometimes come to work unable to keep a calm mind and lash out at friends and coworkers. I had several failed relationships due to gfs worrying about my drinking and in one instance doing something very traumatic to someone I loved very much. I received a talking to from my boss at work that I was respected amongst those I worked with however my drinking might cause me a problem in the future. He knew I needed help and was offered me opportunity to fix things for myself before something happened in which he would be forced to fix it for me. After that I felt embarrassed here I was 32 years old and actong like a college kid. I decided I would review the many journals I had saved about times I got too drunk and vowed to quit and finally make a change for good. At first I only made it a few days then a week then a few more weeks before I would relapse but now my resolve is very strong. I dont look at it as losing something I enjoy which how I used to view it. I now see it as an opportunity to become a better person in every area of my life. Without alcohol, the hangovers, the pain, the heavy fast heartbeat, the paranoia about what people think of you, the lack of control over finances and your health you gain back control and can truly start to achieve the things in life you only dreamed about before. Good luck to you and god bless. Everyday without drinking your body and mind will be stronger and you will live a fuller more rewarding life everyday.
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Thank you so much to you all for your plans. I really struggle because 1 minute I feel I can control it then the next realisation sets in and I know I never will. It’s so frustrating to me and I feel like a complete failure to have no control over my own actions. My husband doesn’t help whatsoever and quite often offers to buy me vodka even though I’ve told him I need help I just feel at a complete loss with how to move forward
I currently am
At rock bottom number 50000 but continue to fight with 8 days off everything including cigarettes. I tried moving to Arizona alone and boy did I bomb hard. I’m currently at my mothers in Florida in the middle of no where recovering. It’s the last place I want to be but the best place I could be until I’m ready to return home to my daughter.
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For me, it’s really hard to think of never drinking alcohol again. However, I know that I can’t drink like a normal person. I made decisions when I was using and drinking that I would never make when I was sober. I drank because it made me feel good and not hate living. I kept quitting and I’d go back time and time again to be happy or whatever. I always felt awful after waking up in the hospital, in some random person’s bed or on the bathroom floor and I would promise myself I wouldn’t end there again, and I would stay sober for a little bit, but then I would think I was okay, that I wasn’t an alcoholic or junkie, and I would try it again, and the cycle would repeat.
Long story short, I decided to quit because I want to live a full healthy life without using and drinking. I’m in AA and my sponsor has so much joy and love in her and she was there for me when I wasn’t sober. I quit this past time because I want to be sober and happy and have a good life. My life and my mental and physical state are better sober, even if it’s hard some days, it’s worth it.
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Its well Worth to choose not to drink or use anything again. In that is a force , if you belive it its a huge buildingstone. You guys makes me stronger its a force stronger than myself. Im humble, happy , confident because of i belive its possible , a God , Aa , sponsor , this forum leads me to a higher power and that The big book becomes alive . My name is Christian im a alcoholic and a drug addict in recovery . Yet is still a choice to not drink/ use today. Thank you guys
It’s still hard for me to grasp that I won’t ever drink again. I just take it one day at a time and that works for me. When I think of drinking or using, I tell myself, “just not today, maybe tomorrow” and say that every day during those times when my cravings are high. And that’s kept me sober along with the tools of sobriety for almost two years now. You’re in my thoughts and prayers
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I wish I had stopped when I was 30. I know I wanted to then and I wish I had had the foresight.