Repositioning myself
The way I participate in our TS community has changed since I joined in July 2025.
At the beginning, the app was almost a vital support. A place to say NO to alcohol 
, to share the decision to resist our addictive behaviors, and to try to believe in myself. I joined with a quiet but steady vigilance.
Over time, through recovery and relapses, TS has become more functional for me. I log my days, read people’s stories, and feel a form of collective presence. Above all, it has become a personal workspace.
I feel empathy and respect for all members. But as in life, relationships are shaped by both cooperation and caution. Over time I’ve noticed very different levels of involvement: some look for ongoing recognition, others for an outlet, and others for a structured framework. I don’t judge these positions. I simply notice that my own relationship to this space has evolved. What was useful to me at the beginning is not useful in the same way today.
I have also sensed a certain divide at times, something like a sobriety police, where some people seem to know what is good or not good for others. That led me to step back a bit more. Not out of rejection, but out of caution. When I needed to be heard or understood, I didn’t always feel that it happened. That is probably also a limit of remote communication: we don’t really know each other, and the relationship remains partial.
Distrust is not a rupture, it is information. It simply signals that distance needs to be adjusted, that I need to be more selective and more measured. You have to choose your battles. So I stepped back somewhat, without dramatizing it. I haven’t rejected the TS community, and I hold no resentment. I keep what has helped me and stay attentive to what still helps: structuring my life without alcohol.
I relapsed a few days ago. It reminded me how difficult the early days are: the emotional waves, the sharp cravings, the inner chaos. Those who have been through it know what I mean.
To get through those moments, I sometimes prefer to pick myself up on my own rather than expose those fragile moments to the sobriety police. Everyone has their own method. Mine is neither impulsive nor secret. I don’t deny the help I received here. I simply recognize that today my stability depends on a more personal balance.
My sobriety keeps moving forward, despite the detours. I remain committed to the decision to stay abstinent, while staying faithful to my own path.
Purple, White, and Red, by Mark Rothko.