Like first days of staying sober or caught up in ‘‘chaser effect’’ after relapsing. For me, the most challenging stage is having the chaser effect which beats my brain down over and over again after the first relapse. It is like ‘’ do it more, do it more, once more, cmon once more’’…
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I hear you, and am not fond of the cycle of chasing a high or agony of defeat from a relapse. I think the part of addiction I dislike the most is the loss of authentic self to the compulsion to maintain my buzz. The reckless, immoral, unconscious, selfish and soulless choices I make when lost in addiction. I don’t crave living a life that is out of alignment with my sober being. It’s not worth it.
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Yes, you are right with your saying. The relapse makes me think that it is all over and no use to strive to keep the process alive. If a relapse comes, then it means others are on the way. It is like a bit conditioning. Yes, it is necessary to keep the life in alignment with being sober. I think it is why I have not met my goals yet.