The most difficult thing In recovery for me, is that drug culture was in my bones. Punk rock, motorcycles, and speedballs was my true calling. Re establishing my persona as a part of society has been difficult. My isolation and anti social behavior didn’t stop when I stopped using. It heightened, my anger and depression at new levels. The dealing with loss of “friends” i’ve had for over to decades weighs in. Feeling like a traitor, as ridiculous as that is. But I can’t go back to prison, nor will I watch another overdose. I’ve set my boundaries. I have to follow my inner sense of morality to elimate the overwhelming shame that stems from drug abuse. Fight for your life everyone, as cold and shitty as it is in Chicago the sun seems brighter day by day. You are what you think friends. So I suppose what I’ve learned from this delicious rant, is drugs didn’t define me, my inner voice and my actions define me. Let the universe open a new path and let it lead me to my destiny.
Much love
BBB
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Thank you for this message! You’re so right - whatever we are using turns out to be such a part of our identity.
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Writing helps me work through things I found m yself in a catastrophic mood covered in oil, figured I could work it out here and if it helps someone then great.
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Great discriptive writing style @B3cello . Welcome!
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A catastrophic mood covered in oil? I’d like to hear the story of your morning…
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I think I’m going to like reading your writing. Peace!
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