Yesturday, I was sober. I got accused by two people my dad I was living with, if I was drunk or on drugs then by my ex fiancé. All I was was extremely anxious, because certain things happened that were out of control. I tried hard yesterday, but it wasn’t good enough. Feeling very lost today, feel like I’m going backwards, like I’m trying but to be honest it feels worst. I’m 16 days off meth and about three days not drinking. I’m trying.
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Thanks for your reply. I also think this might be a reason why I’ve been relapsing so frequently. Because the support is just not there from the people that mean the most to me. And I come to term that that is ok. That they don’t owe me anything. But it’s really sad to me. I try not listen to them but it is really hard. I don’t want sympathy. I don’t really know what I mean. At this stage I think it’s the drinking which is mucking me about more than the meth. The meth I can stay away from easier. It’s the alcohol I think I use more to help with extreme anxiety issues. But I know deep down that it doesn’t help. It’s just a quick fix. I just want to know how other people deal with being dry drunks because right now I have no idea. Even though I’m seeing a very good psychologist I just can’t seen to feel better either way I go.
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Well you definitely aren’t a dry drunk yet. You are just at the detox process. Dry drunk is a person that gets long term sobriety but failed to resolve the issues. Which leaves them a very hateful resentful person. You are just trying to figure out how to exist with your emotions without numbing. And looking help from people who don’t fight addiction will be hard because the don’t understand why you just can’t be normal. But there’s a lot of us who do understand. And I will suggest you find a program it is probably the biggest part of my recovery. I can be around other addicts for support.
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Thanks for taking the time to reply. I feel very resentful at the moment. But I know I have to do the day. Still very early days. Maybe I’m more sensitive to what are people are saying because I’m sober and detoxing. One day at a time. I went for a long walk this morning came back to an apology from my ex. Already today is better than yesturday. I’m packing myself up to move out of my dads. I don’t get the support from him. He doesn’t owe it to me. But I owe it to myself to be in a safer environment. He is an alcoholic himself, who seems to have given up. And who says the most nastiest stuff to me. Which makes me wonder if it’s worth to be sober… I know I don’t want to end up like him. So I need to put myself first and remove myself from the situation. I’ve tried not listening to him, but even when I do my own thing at home he has something negative to say. One day at a time. And I definitely need to go to more meetings!
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I think trying to get out of a negative environment is a healthy choice. But on the other side it will take lots of time and work to get through resentments and hurts. It is tough being naked with feelings all the sudden after blurring them away for so long. So remember it really is one day at a time process. Sometimes a moment at a time but remember the moments do pass And with each victory you get a bit stronger.
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Bravo! You are taking a good road, they are probably surprised to see you sober that’s why they asked . They care for you trust me don’t give up 
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Thank you. I know it’s full on at the moment. I feel so bland. Like my life is boring. Even though it isn’t boring. And it’s what you make it. I’m finding it hard to enjoy myself. I exercise every day and eat reasonable well, I sleep well. I’m doing all those things, however I just feel eh. You know what I mean? I woke up feeling refreshed not hungover and that’s probably a first in a long time so I shall not be too hard on myself. I must keep at journaling. It actually helps.
Thank you. I don’t know if they are surprised. I think it was because I was an emotional mess that day because I wasn’t drinking and they could sense I was not happy. I seemed erratic. Scared myself. But I know leaving here will be better in many ways.
That made so much sense to me. Doesn’t seem scattered at all. I’m doing those things it just feels so mundane to me. But i know if I keep at it I will see results and feel more happy about changing my lifestyle. Totally get the family thing. They say they want to be supportive but they don’t know how to even when you communicate to them what you think would help, they still don’t do it. It’s because they are so engrained. And at the end of the day its not their problem they don’t owe me anything. That’s how I have to look at it these days or else I get too upset.
Thank you for your reply. 
You can do it !
I think drugs take away your ability to enjoy other things but eventually that should come back. You just need to keep doing what you’re doing and hang in there:)
Remember that you’ve built a reputation as a user. Now you’ll have to unbuild it. Many people won’t believe in you. Many will try to get yo back to where you were (using with them).
For those of us who quit and stay quit, it is a revolution, a milestone, a real and significant change…but for those we’ve hurt in the past, the emotion and damage still resonates.
A former coworker was raised by an alcoholic, cocaine addicted mother. The mother got clean after years of abusing my coworker and her brother (who was an addict as well and took his own life due to stressors from that emotional abuse). The mother has apparently made a huge and long term change, but my coworker still struggles. Neither she nor her mother can seem to get on the same page. She has trouble forgiving (and that’s something you never forget) and the mother doesn’t understand why coworker doesn’t buy into this Sobriety as she herself has.
Congrats on trying, but I am afraid it looks like you’ll have to do more sober time to convince your father and ex.
I wish I could tell you better news.
Best,
Chandler
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Thank you for replying. It is very hard, every day is hard. I’m noticing my cravings more. And I’m letting them flow over. They are very intense. Usually on the w.e at night. I’m going to go to a meeting tomorrow night. I need to. Maybe counselling for these two?
Counseling is the equivalent of a mechanic for your car. We get the major things repaired and yo seem to have shared some of those, then we go back once in a while to have a tune up as it were.
I’ve always said that some things we know in our hearts but we don’t yet know in our minds. Very often, in counseling, we come to terms w those things and are able to know them in both our hearts and minds. Everyone has issues. No matter how smart or attractive or rich or successful. We all have them. Over the last few years, I have spent some significant time in counseling.
Be honest. Your counselor can only work w the info you give him or her. To withhold it (no matter how awful you think it is, no matter how bad it might make you look) doesn’t help you.
I wish you the best and encourage you to be patient and have mercy on the ex and your father. Addiction makes everyone merciless and maybe now is the time to make up for that.
I know I have a very straightforward, no holds barred way of dealing w people when I write or respond, but I treat people like I e had to treat myself to be able to stay Sober.
Best,
Chandler
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Yeah I’m getting the same thing… I look like crap. Give it a little more time.