# Who was I. Is that me?
**URL:** https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239
**Category:** Relapses
**Created:** [May 15, 2021, 4:59pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239 "2021-05-15T16:59:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 7
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Jess3](https://talkingsober.com/u/Jess3)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2021, 4:59pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239/1 "2021-05-15T16:59:54Z")
I drank so much last night that I lost all concept of reality.
I said hurtful things to my partner.
Now, I am just in disbelief that person was me.
He doesn’t deserve to have had his feelings hurt by the vile person I was last night.
I’m scared as I never want that to happen again.
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### Author:  [@Matt](https://talkingsober.com/u/Matt)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2021, 5:09pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239/2 "2021-05-15T17:09:09Z")
I’m sorry you went through that Jess. It’s such a powerful feeling of shame and regret.
It’s a good reason to make a change. The good news is that never has to happen again.
Many of us here have been in your shoes, having hurt our partners. We’ve all had to make a change & learn to live life sober without running to the numbness and escape of our addictions. You can learn that too.
Have you considered joining a recovery group? It is a great way to learn to walk a recovery path & maintain your recovery - from people who’ve been there before:
[Online meeting resources](https://talkingsober.com/t/online-meeting-resources/83966)
Take care Jess and remember: you’re a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.
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### Author:  [@SinceIAwoke](https://talkingsober.com/u/SinceIAwoke)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2021, 5:37pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239/4 "2021-05-15T17:37:28Z")
Welcome to Talking Sober, Jess. Let’s see if you can transform your motivation into action. To expand on the other responses, here is a thread chock full of effective methods to stop drinking, stay sober and promote a sober lifestyle.
> [@Resources for our recovery](https://talkingsober.com/t/resources-for-our-recovery/52812):
>
> There are so many helpful resources available to us on our sober journeys. I wanted to share this list for those who are interested in non traditional resources. Please note: I created this thread with alcohol recovery in mind and it is U.S. based as well. As a straight white past middle age woman (SassyRocks), it is based on what resonated and helped me in my journey. Over time, I have added in resources for some other addictions (found at the end of this post), but it is heavy with resources …
Blessings on your house as you begin your journey. 🙏
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### Author:  [@CaptAZ](https://talkingsober.com/u/CaptAZ)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2021, 7:05pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239/5 "2021-05-15T19:05:42Z")
> [@Jess3](#):
>
> I’m scared as I never want that to happen again.
The good news is, it absolutely doesn’t ever have to happen again.
Say no to the first drink and there is no 2nd, 3rd or 24th. You don’t have to drink.
---
### Author:  [@Jess3](https://talkingsober.com/u/Jess3)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2021, 9:42pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239/6 "2021-05-15T21:42:26Z")
Hi Matt thank you so much for your kind words.
I will join a group. Thank you for sharing
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### Author:  [@Matt](https://talkingsober.com/u/Matt)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2021, 9:58pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239/7 "2021-05-15T21:58:10Z")
Good luck Jess. You will find what you need if you search and search and don’t stop walking forward one step at a time. Take care 😇
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### Author:  [@Misokatsu](https://talkingsober.com/u/Misokatsu)
#### Post date: [May 15, 2021, 11:02pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/who-was-i-is-that-me/118239/8 "2021-05-15T23:02:05Z")
Many of us on here have had that same experience, I know I have. The guilt and shame and self-hate can be powerful. Put them down, they won’t help you change. You got good advice here about finding a group or the resource page. I used a program called Annie Grace’s 30 day experiment, there are daily videos and homework, and it taught me a lot about what alcohol really is and how it really affects us. It helped me see alcohol, and myself in a new way.