5 days 
It’s crazy to think that this is a first time in the last five years but here we are 
This 5 days havent been (that much) hard, but i feel like i have so many things inside me which i cant properly feel and alchohol used to help for that. Miss being so vulnerable, but dont miss everything else. I kind feel nervous frustrated and like i want to cry, but i hope ill go through this.
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Hello Emanuella, and welcome to Talking Sober. I’m glad you are here.
Early days of sobriety can be confusing. I went through the first 5 days so many times, far too many times. What really made a difference for me was to change my thinking. I ended up ignoring my feelings, kind of, and coping with whatever physical symptoms came up, and just focusing on my warped thinking. I would stumble when I started thinking “oh, I’m better now, I’ve had a break, I can go back to drinking now”, or even worse “I still feel awful, maybe a couple of drinks, just two, will ease me through it”.
When I finally did get sober, I threw everything I had at my alcoholism. I started with Antabuse and counseling, after a month I swapped out the medicine (side effects) for AA, after 5 months I did a state mandated intensive outpatient program. And the whole time, I was on mandatory daily breath samples until my legal case was settled around 5 months when I started my 3 year sentence on house arrest.
Before I got sober, I would have these short stints, sometimes 1-2 days, sometimes a month, generally either 3-4 days or 3-4 months, of going dry. Always those were for ulterior motives, to deal with direct consequences like another court case (I was a serial DUI driver) or another ultimatum from my spouse, and once when I was looking for work after getting fired for behavior that included my drinking. I would “hide out” in sobriety, with the goal of going back to it fairly soon. When I was drinking, I had the vague idea I would quit “someday”. But when I got sober, I focused on getting from “pillow to pillow”, from waking up until going to sleep and not drinking in just that time frame. With things like going to an AA meeting or counseling (usually 1.5 to 2 hours handled there), commuting to and from work (another 2 hours per day), getting to my breath test (a half hour), eating, sleeping and preparing for the day, and being at work, I really only had a few brief 1-2 hour periods during any 24 hours to “batttle” through. It’s not a battle today, by the way, it’s just how I live.
If any of this has helped you, that is good. I know it has helped me to stay sober today, to recall and relate my experiences.
Hope is a great motivator, but not a strategy for staying sober. Have a look around Talking Sober and you will find many ways that members have gotten and stay sober. You can find a way that works for you too, I believe you deserve a sober a life.
Blessings 
on your house today as you find your sober path.
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