New to this app. Just need to vent I think. I’ve been doing drugs since I was 14 and I finally was able to stay sober when I had my son at 16. That only lasted about a year and I started drinking again and it led straight back to drugs. My son is now 4 and I’m still always finding new ways to get high. It’s like I can be good for three weeks then I can’t take it anymore and I have to have something. Mind you in those three weeks I will be drinking. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I can’t just stop for good. It’s so frustrating, I set goals and I can never achieve them. I’m so good at hiding my addiction. maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to stop for good?
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I was great at hiding it also. I was never the out of control drunk. I never got into a fight, never had to be carried out, never sloppy… so none of my friends knew I had a problem. This is a horrible disease and what I needed to achieve my goals was support without judgement. I found that here on this forum and AA meetings. Don’t get frustrated with yourself. Understand that this is a disease and love yourself enough to fight for a better version of yourself. You can do it!
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Admit you are powerless over drugs and alcohol. Pray. Go to meetings. Work the steps. Read the big book. Call your sponsor. Get a psychic change. You won’t relapse.
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Thanks for the replies and advice! It’s really appreciated. Nice to know people go through the same stuff!
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Welcome @L3xy thank you for sharing . I can relate to what you saying . IT has been a battle between my ego and my actions. I pushed away my tought on stopping many times . And ignored the fact i was power less. Fam and friends told me many times i needed to stop. Now i have a willingness that is stronger than ever. And i found my higher power a force that is stronger than my self