I was going to say the same thing!
1 Like
Re: why not. Is it definitely worth trying at LEAST a few times? In my opinion yes. But some people have mental health issues and it can cost them way worse than an hour when it goes wrong. My mental health issues are my own things to deal with, but I had multiple AA meetings that made me go home trying to think about how to kill myself. Though even so, I do still plan to try another meeting again. I totally support meetings. It’s just that some involved my mental health wanting to end my life.
2 Likes
In hopes of never contributing to anyone feeling that way, may I ask, in the most general of terms, what went wrong?
3 Likes
What went wrong… Probably the mental health issues I have to figure out how to handle. Maybe me and others leaving the room to regain calm before coming back. Facilitator being condemning and vicious and seemed to be emotionally manipulative rather than sticking to sobriety facts. I think I just need to try another place where meetings are held.
3 Likes
I appreciate your candor and self reflection. I’ve never been in a meeting that had that feel, but it must have been awful to experience it in such a way. I’m so glad you are going to try a different meeting in a different place. I’ve been very fortunate to find that most meetings exuded warmth and support. I so hope you experience that.
1 Like
Yeah. I want to go to one today. But I have medical conditions keeping me from doing that right now
1 Like
Btw, the worst meetings for me were held in a detox center I put myself into twice, where people are especially emotionally raw. I think the AA message was good to bring there, but wow, people got hurt bad.
1 Like
I had my third AA meeting recently. It blew up. Half the people walked out, and the other half led the meeting themselves while the facilitator watched helplessly and I just sat there frozen, head buried in my arms, from the anxiety I had around what happened. I seem to have the worst luck.
However, I still remain convinced that 99% of meetings are not like that. Just getting frustrated trying to find a better one. But WHEN I do, I’m hoping to come back to this thread and say “look it IS totally worth it, when I just kept trying I finally found out for myself how amazing it is!”
3 Likes
Is this a different meeting from the ones you have attended before?
Yes, totally different place. This was in rehab.
The complaint people were having this time was that each week the facilitator would dominate the session with the same aspects of his own story over and over each week, and never discuss the steps or the big book or hear from anyone but him. They felt like they weren’t included or learning anything more than the very first time they listened to him.
1 Like
I’m really sorry you had that experience. I’ve heard people say that meetings in rehab are very dissimilar to meetings outside. I’ve been to over 180 meetings at this point, and the chair has never spoken for more than five minutes tops. I hope you keep searching for a good fit for you. I truly believe your tribe is out there.
️
2 Likes
Ahhh ok. My AA meetings have been in inpatient detox situations and rehab. So that might be why I’ve had weird experiences.
1 Like
My follow-up: So I went to an actual AA meeting outside of detox or rehab. Very very VERY different from my past experience, way more structured, and all about community support through life and the 12 steps, rather than someone coming to dominate the hour singlehandedly, unable to read the room. What. A. Relief. I knew there was a reason I told myself I was going to keep trying more meetings instead of give up!
I wasn’t able to get much out of it (got into a trauma trigger funk shortly before the meeting and couldn’t snap out of it) but what I did hear was excellent, and I was made to feel welcome.
Honestly I don’t like the idea of walking 45 minutes each way to make this same meeting each week, 2.5 hours for a 1 hour meeting, but hey, if I’m not doing anything better for those hours…
6 Likes
I am so glad you kept giving AA a try. I hoped that you would find community meetings a much different experience. Wheeeee!!!
I love your perseverance and your desire to keep pushing - even when you don’t feel like it.
5 Likes
Thanks! My plan is to keep going daily for the time being. I can tell it’s going to be a while before I really “get” AA to the extent I want to, but, everything takes time.
When should I seek out a sponsor? Is there a “too early” for that kind of thing? I’m eager to dive into the program as much as I can.
Welcome to AA, man! I got a sponsor at my second meeting and stayed with him 4 years, through the steps and beyond.
It’s not a lifetime commitment, though. Try a temporary guy, see if it’s a good fit. Just be honest, open minded and willing to try new stuff. Even if (especially if!) it makes you uncomfortable.
Blessings on your house 
.
1 Like
Thank you for info on AA something I can put into the sober toolbox.
1 Like
I also got my sponsor at my second meeting. For me, step work is where the magic of AA began.i agree - even a temporary sponsor is a great place to start. You can always change if you find someone who is a better fit for you.
I found this by accident. Can’t remember seeing it in November when I first came here but I found @MoCatt’s points very valid. So I thought I’d bump it back up.
I am currently not actively doing AA but I have been to meetings and see the total benefit of it.
I do enjoy the meetings.
Point 3 I found especially valid. We all think we are unique. Ha!
Stay strong
7 Likes