# Why? Struggle with self destructiveness

**URL:** https://talkingsober.com/t/why-struggle-with-self-destructiveness/131721
**Category:** Relapses
**Created:** [December 12, 2021, 11:30am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/why-struggle-with-self-destructiveness/131721 "2021-12-12T11:30:25Z")
**Posts on this page:** 5
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![Wallace8456](https://talkingsober.com/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/w/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Wallace8456](https://talkingsober.com/u/Wallace8456)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2021, 11:30am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/why-struggle-with-self-destructiveness/131721/1 "2021-12-12T11:30:25Z")

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I continue to get high knowing the outcome. Why do I continue even when I’m not getting high anymore?

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### Author: ![kat261](https://talkingsober.com/user_avatar/talkingsober.com/kat261/32/235362_2.png) [@kat261](https://talkingsober.com/u/kat261)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2021, 3:52pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/why-struggle-with-self-destructiveness/131721/2 "2021-12-12T15:52:59Z")

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It’s because you’re a person with the disease of addiction, we all come to that point where we use just to stave off the withdrawal. Good time to quit.

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### Author: ![Matt](https://talkingsober.com/user_avatar/talkingsober.com/matt/32/94732_2.png) [@Matt](https://talkingsober.com/u/Matt)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2021, 5:17pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/why-struggle-with-self-destructiveness/131721/3 "2021-12-12T17:17:25Z")

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Addiction doesn’t make any sense. You’ll never really know “why” in the sense of “a rational explanation”. Addiction is an unhealthy hunger. It’s not rational.

Here’s what you know: it’s not healthy and you need to stop.

Meetings are a good place to meet some people and get some support. Talking Sober is good too.

[Online meeting resources](https://talkingsober.com/t/online-meeting-resources/83966)

This thread is good too:

[Resources for our recovery](https://talkingsober.com/t/resources-for-our-recovery/52812)

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### Author: ![Butterflymoonwoman](https://talkingsober.com/user_avatar/talkingsober.com/butterflymoonwoman/32/539984_2.png) [@Butterflymoonwoman](https://talkingsober.com/u/Butterflymoonwoman)
#### Post date: [December 12, 2021, 6:00pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/why-struggle-with-self-destructiveness/131721/4 "2021-12-12T18:00:23Z")

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I can only speak for myself about this… BUT I have asked myself this question SO many times lol. What I know about my addiction is that it is cunning, baffling, and powerful. My addicted mind will LIE to me everytime to convince me that it will give me a release, some sort of relief from what I’m going through. My addicted mind will tell me that drugs serve some sort of purpose in my life when in fact… it causes so much more damage. When I’m clean (or when I’m coming down from using) I see the damage that it causes. Yet, shortly after, my mind starts to play games with me and it will do its best to convince me that one Is ok… I can stop at one etc etc. Don’t fall for the lies. They are all LIES when it comes to our addicted thinking. Over time they say that voice settles 🙂

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### Author: ![Ray\_M\_C\_Laren](https://talkingsober.com/user_avatar/talkingsober.com/ray_m_c_laren/32/434881_2.png) [@Ray\_M\_C\_Laren](https://talkingsober.com/u/Ray_M_C_Laren)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2021, 1:49pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/why-struggle-with-self-destructiveness/131721/5 "2021-12-13T13:49:23Z")

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Try A meeting might help wish you well