Our old nemesis the ego… 
. I’m glad mine is mostly in check.
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Everyone has an ego. Its the ability to notice it, and course correct that is a challenge. You my friend, seem to do a great job at that.
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I don’t have an ego, but that’s only because I’m better than everyone else.
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Just sold my marital home which is completing on Friday
I’ll have £48000 sat in the bank
What should I do?
- wait and put it towards another mortgage
- have “one drink” and be under the illusion I won’t spend it on the best binge ever. I could even rent a Ferrari and pretend I’m a player
Think I’ll be sensible as that one drink would lead to me losing everything, not just the money 
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Bump.
In case anyone else besides me needs a reminder. 
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‘Tis the season…
To not hang out at bars
To avoid the boozy holiday party at work
To give back the gift of a wine basket
To avoid your toxic family
And
To make sure you protect your sobriety at all costs
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This will be my second sober Christmas and I am actually really looking forward to it.
I’ve declined two party invitations just because… I pencilled in the gym Christmas dance party in my calendar instead. I am excited for Christmas specials on telly. I will be able to remember all of them the next morning!
And no visiting family or family visiting at all!
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I will be headed over to my parents tomorrow night to spend the night to be there for Thanksgiving. I’m grateful that my parents don’t drink alcohol. They live an hour north and I’ve already discussed with my mom helping me get to a meeting while I’m out there Because where they live you can’t really bike anywhere. And it’s cool because it’s a AA club I haven’t been to in years. I feel like there is no time for days off with my recovery. As far as bars I never was a bar drinker even in my addiction. So I definitely wouldn’t want to be around that in recovery. I know there is a Christmas party coming up soon for my job at one of their sister restaurants. I’m definitely not going to go. I’m not going to have anything in common with the conversations or craziness. Plus it’ll be a lot of people trying to convince me that I can drink I don’t expect them to understand but I’m not going to put myself in a situation to feel uncomfortable. I’d rather Go to a meeting and then go out to eat with some people that get what I’m going through. I definitely feel like this time of year can be very triggering for people but I feel like that’s only if you put yourself in sketchy situations. Speaking for myself I can’t let my guard down whether it’s a holiday or a normal day. Definitely appreciate this thread.
Ps: And I understand toxic family and not being able to be around them. My immediate family has their life together but the rest of my family is lost in addiction and in denial. Sometimes my dad calls me and says he feels regret about not being able to be around them but I have to remind him he has to look out for his own sanity and well-being especially since he has tried to help and tried to be there. My parents escaped toxic households and family members and provided a good life for themselves. I’m grateful I can learn from my parents and what to do with my life.
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“I feel like there is no time for days off with my recovery.“
Gold.
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What has helped this time more than anything is actually listening to what people do in long-term recovery And the Advice and suggestions. It’s like the saying in AA are you willing to go to any lengths to stay sober? Yes I am. Because I was willing to go to any lengths to get drugs and alcohol. I know for me in the past if I stop doing anything I’m doing for my recovery it’s like a snowball effect and I’ll let my guard down little by little because I’ll forget the truth of the matter is that I can’t drink or do drugs successfully. I have to be reminded on a daily basis. And if anything on holidays I have to do double the work. But that’s OK definitely better than the alternative
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Yes, I was aware that people here face other type of addiction, but mechanism is similar, plus, answering this question helps me understand better my problem.
Such questions are great - it forces us to think. My sobriety needs other type of action, but anyway, we have similar, or the same goal - thrive in sobriety.
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Then why exactly would you come on a thread that is clearly about drinking and drugs and make a comment that drinking is fine for some?
I think something that all people in early recovery struggle with this is their ego. Often times people think that the whole world revolves around them. I found that in early recovery it was very helpful to think less and listen more.
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Thank you Derek @Englishd for the reminder and @Peaceofmind for bumping this thread 
I have a solid plan as every year: I’m home with my cats from Christmas until Epiphany, cooking delicious meals for myself and one vegetarian for a planned visit from a dear friend, decorating the christmas trees days long, posting tons of pictures of it, sharing with friends and chosen family online. Trying new smoothie recipies. Still not sure which series for a marathon it will be this year. For sure a fire in the stove all day and a beautiful early morning walk daily (a real goodie as I’m usually busy in the morning and love this deliberate break of habits).
For feelings of loneliness I got HALT, insight timer, friends I can reach for an emotional emergency call and the beautiful look out of the windows.
For any creepy emotions I got tons of books at hand on the bookshelf in the living room, sorted by issues, from alcohol to depression and from codependency to comics to lift & destract my mind immediately.
And if need it I can call or meet with my therapist.
For a birthday party invitation: I won’t go. I know there will be beer galore and it will be fun. It will be fun without me too, I’m neither keen on driving forth and back for 2 hours (knowing people get on my sober nerves after a quite short time) nor do I want a hangover on New Year’s Eve (or any other day). It’s simply not worth it. And yes, I miss a good beer. Like I miss my Ex. I can’t have it without suffering the toxic sides. So nope.
For the rest of Advent: I’m on vaccacion. Will leave the farm next week, the catsitter will take care of the cats at my townhouse, I will do my annual fasting week at the convent and cats & me will return to the farm mid week before Christmas.
It’s my time of the year to focus on myself and let go, filled with beloved, healthy rituals and sleep galore.
Take good care of yourself fellow soberinos and soberistas
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Thanks for this!
I was debating going to a work christmas function but its at a pub and I just know it will be triggering and dont want to put myself in that situation so early on or ever again really. I cannot drink, not socially, not just one, I just cannot drink and am okay with that. Feels a bit freeing to finally acknoweldge. I am also debating just spending the holidays with an AA group or doing some volunteering and thinking I may treat myself to a rebounder trampoline for exercising once I hit my one month mark.
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I went to an AA meeting on Christmas Day my first year of sobriety. New years too.
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I love the symbolism of this: living sober, like being on a trampoline, is about staying balanced and keeping focused, whether you’re up or down (which is like bouncing around on a trampoline).
It’s a corny comparison, I know, but I like it. Enjoy your trampoline!
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In Ireland it’s everywhere you go, to avoid it you would have to not go outside or do things ever. I love being sober, I also love going outside, doing things, spending time with people.
I don’t deliberately test myself but I can’t go to the cinema or go for dinner, get fast food, enjoy my culture if I have to avoid places where alcohol will definitely be. I
have sat out on a few occasions when I wasn’t feeling particularly strong in myself.
Drinking is a massive part of life in Ireland.
I chose to drink in solitude towards the end so nobody would know how much I was drinking, now that I’m sober I shout it from the roof tops.
Everyone I go out with knows about my sobriety and if there’s temptation or I’m not 100% they are ok with me leaving. If they’re not ok with it then I know they aren’t a true, decent friend. The kind that only want good things for you.
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I love this especially “screaming it from the rooftops” its like owning your sobriety and wearing it as a badge of honour not something shameful to hide. Thanks for sharing 
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I love a corny comparison! Balance is really key to finding peace 
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