Since getting sober I haven’t set foot in a pub, club, bar, restaurant. When my friends raised the issue of going out I told them no I wouldn’t feel comfortable and so we didn’t. I did go to my friends house and they were drinking but I had planned for a get out of there, I had a sober friend from my meetings on call, I took the car and kept in touch with my husband by text. I made it through the evening fine but the next day I didn’t have a plan for when the triggers came, I got through it but it’s definitely not worth the risk again
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Completely unrelated but I used to work with a lad who used to play a game called ‘Harmless Rumours’. It is as it sounds - spread a harmless but believable rumour about someone and see how far it gets. One night, we played and THIS was the rumour I spread about him. He spread a harmless rumour that my Dad ran a kebab shop and my mum was at college.
Anyways… I’m never more than 50ft from a well stocked bar and cellar all day long and it doesnt trigger me. Im lucky for that.
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I’m hoping to get to that point 
it’s getting easier everyday x
Keep up your good work, I’m proud of you!
We have drive thru liquor stores, and every convenience store sells beer, 50% sell wine and liquor too. Nearly every single store sells hundreds of bottles. The temptation is all in your mind.
But why tempt yourself.
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I am fascinated by drive through liquor stores. What an annoying place that must be to work.
They’re mostly owned by the people who work them, and they do well, so I don’t think they mind too much.
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I am in food and beverage business and work around huge bars every day. I never get tempted at work because I never drank at work. Temptation is when I am coming home and if I stop at a store. I especially avoid eating out. My bar time faded long time ago. I want to drink when I am sitting by the sea or doing yardwork, or cooking or just watching tv to fall asleep. That said; I am doing better. In a few days I will break my record of 35 days sober in two decades. I choose not to drink because I feel miserable when I don’t like myself.
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I agree totally.
I had that switch flipped too I had been thinking about sobriety for a long time then just woke up (hungover) one day and that was it. I didn’t want to drink anymore. I am so fortunate to have had that happen and I really empathize with all those who struggle with still wanting to use their DOC. I was very afraid that motivation to not drink would pass so have made being sober my new hobby with reading books, following all different sober blogs and social media platforms and telling everyone before I see them that I no longer drink because it is a problem for me. Exploring meditation and spirituality has helped me a lot too. Another post on here we discussed using self talk to focus on all the things we get to do like I get to wake up hangover free, I get to be more present with my family, etc. I also think allowing yourself to say no to being in a situation if it is triggering for you is important. I can’t say I would ever want to go to a bar or crowded place where people were drinking as it would be very difficult for me.
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This is awesome. What we can do is keep encouraging those here still struggling to keep going, because you never know when this “enough is enough” moment will happen.
Peace.
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This happened for me, a switch flipped and I just didn’t want it anymore. I was actually drunk when it happened. When people ask me about it, the best analogy I can come up with is Forrest Gump. Remember when he ran for years and the just stopped out of the blue and said “I’m pretty tired… I think I’ll go home now.” … That pretty much sums it up for me.
Home is where I did the majority of my drinking, but I was skeptical of certain business functions. I was not sure if they would trigger me or not. I stayed away for a while. I go here and there now and the smell of alcohol makes me queasy and I’m grateful for that. I also don’t feel like the odd man out or anything like that. People have gotten used to it and no one, including myself, thinks anything of it. Beth doesn’t drink, cool.
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I’m going to re-animate this not quite zombie thread for the holidays.
Just in case you think that office party with an open bar is a good idea.
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Interesting post…it reminds me of an episode of Elementary. Sherlock feared he was getting complaiscent in his recovery, it was too easy, so he feared relapse. As a result he kept putting himself in risky situations to force himself to actively work on his sobriety. I found that entire episode dangerous and irresponsible.
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I agree – I can sit at a restaurant or bar with people and choose to order non-alcoholic drinks. Unfortunately I relapsed yesterday after 20 days of sobriety. Should have avoided the office Christmas party and the open bar like a few people here have suggested. Have just reset this app.
Feeling quite guilty but also trying to make sure I’m kind to myself and not beat myself up too much about it. Fuck ups happen but what’s important is what you do about it afterwards, right?
Learn from it if you can. Identify the triggers, and either avoid them for now or have a plan to work through them in the situation.
An open bar would trigger me too, so don’t beat yourself up.
I’ve been having a couple of days with cravings and I was in such a pissy mood. " Why can’t I just have a little treat?! I can’t eat anymore chocolate, white wine is the treat I want" And I didn’t know what to do, only knew that I didn’t want to reset and start over (I have 82 days) so I was just soaking in my grouchiness.
And it passed. The feeling passed. So hold on.
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Jesus. When I checked my notifications that Ellasmom replied to my thread I almost died bc I thought Shay signed up for this site.
If you don’t know who Shay is you can ask, but let’s just say we have a very complicated relationship and her daughter’s name is Ella, who I finally got to see tonight for the first time since Sunday
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It’s strange, I was thinking about this tonight whilst driving past two pubs that I used to frequent. They serve food, nice food, but as I drove past I thought that it is likely that I will not be able to set foot in them for a long time, if ever. The association with drinking in those places is so strong that it makes my mouth water just writing this and thinking about it. So AVOID AVOID AVOID for me.
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Same here. The condition from which I suffered was “Not done yet”. I was so grateful when the tough old bastards asked me “You done yet?”, and I could truly answer yes, yes I am.
Time was, if you hesitated to answer that question around here, they’d give you a $20 bill and tell you to go get started on finishing and to come back when you’re done. It’s a little softer now, but I have asked a chronic relapser that question at least once. It’s tough and it’s love,
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My sponsor said he will buy my first bundle, case, gram, whatever, if I want to go back out. He’s not joking. He also has my written first step in case I decide that I’m not an alcoholic.