After two months of soberity I gave up.
I drank yesterday, I’m on meth today.
I was doing good during those two months. I was a little bit overwhelmed with adult stuff, it was challenging, but I did good.
And I thought I’m strong enough to adopt a dog (I lost my first dog in June) and it’s too much for me.
I don’t have a problem with mess she’s making (Bunia is 5 months old) and I’m okay with taking her for walks.
She’s kinda insecure, I have her for one week now and she don’t want to play with me, she’s not happy when she see me, she’s just sitting in the corner next to the front door and do nothing…
It’s so sad to me. I feel that she’s afraid of me, that she hates me.
I’m borderline, I know I’m overreacting, but damn… It’s so painful to me to see my dog being afraid of me when I try to pet her.
I know she needs time, but it’s painful.
This the main reason I fucked up, I think. I just want to be loved.
Wish me luck, please. Pray for me or whatever, I want to start counting again my sober days as quick as its possible.
And wish me luck so I’ll make money to pay my rent.
Have a great day, thank you for reading.
1 Like
You just got your dog for 1 week: give her time! Give her time to adjust! She was living with someone else for 5 months or maybe living in a shelter?
Let her be the one who takes the initiative. Talk to her often with a soft calm voice. Only pet her when she comes to you and when you notice she want/like it. Most dogs don’t want to be pet on the head! You have to built a relationship with your dog. It will work out! She will be your buddy in no time! Give her love but do not overwhelm her. Give her time 
3 Likes
Sorry to hear about your relapse. Any idea what you are going to change to let it be the last one?
I know it’s hard to be sober. I had my share of relapses too. I had to change many things in my life. But it worked out so far.
It helps me to come here every day to check in sober. Maybe it helps you too! 
I tell everyone who adopts from the rescue where I volunteer, it will take At Least 2-3 weeks before a dog will feel safe around you. During this time they will probably mess in the house (even if they’re house trained) and they will be a flight risk, meaning if they get loose(either bolt out an open door, or slip out of their collar because it is too loose) they will not come right back and keep running. After they learn to feel safe around you, they will start to trust.
Keep adulting. A dog needs a responsible parent who can take care of her. Keep loving on her and she will come around. But if you neglect her, hit her or scare her, it will take her a lot longer to trust you. I’m not saying you’re doing this, but you also didn’t say you weren’t so I’m just covering the bases.
If you’re going to be anything in life, be a kickass dog mom. Peace.
6 Likes
Bunia was living in a shelter for two months and she was living for two weeks with volunteer and her dog.
Bunia is more into doggies than humans.
I also contacted dog behaviourist and I’ll contact him on Monday, I’m doing something to change the situation, but it’s so hard.
I’m on day therapy (8 am to 1 pm everyday), but I’m struggling with going there everyday, but the therapy is great and I have an amazing therapist.
I was thinking about being more active in AA or NA community, but I’m as insecure as my dog and I have tendency to isolate myself, when I’m sober.
I guess it’s a good topic for my therapy.
Thank you for kind words.
3 Likes