Hey everybody! So I was hoping to get a little advice about how to cope at work. I’m slightly under 4 months sober (alcohol), and am of course still feeling mental symptoms of withdrawal. I also quit smoking 9 days ago, which probably isn’t helping, but I know it will be worth it. Problem is, I never really learned how to cope with any amount of adult stress sober, and although it seems I’m learning fairly quickly, I will occasionally tear somebody’s head off (metaphorically speaking of course). Anybody have advice on some approaches to biting my tongue, and ideally not letting on that I’m pissed off visually? My approach currently, is to apologize after the fact once I realize I just had a nicotine/alcohol rage out, and just be honest and tell them that I quit recently. But I really need to learn some coping skills here, that excuse can only fly for so long.
Anytime I get angry I call my sponsor and bitch. He then tells me to grow and stop making everything about me. My sponsor is smarter than me.
Eh, personally I would drop that sponsor fairly quickly. Although I have found that the personalities of most sponsors I’ve met are too crass and unsupportive. But see, I think a lot of them get that mentality from already making it about themselves, ironically enough. Because they had to suffer through whatever, they think others should stop complaining or whatever, and they often don’t seem to see that they made it about them self by telling someone to stop whining.
My sponsor has been nothing but amazing since I’ve asked him to be my sponsor. If I have a legitimate gripe he listens, but it turns out most of them aren’t legitimate. His job is to guide me through the steps and he is doing a fantastic job. I didn’t get to 205 days on my own. A sponsor tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
Despite what I may think, I’m not special or different from any other addict. He knows what it takes to get clean, I don’t. If you can’t handle hearing the truth that isn’t your sponsor’s problem. It’s yours.
Oh, I see, I thought you were saying they were just completely dismissive of all of your feelings and such. I’ve had a rough time with a lot of them, it’s very frustrating. Maybe jaded is the way to describe the attitude I’m encountering. Just this weirdly dismissive thing. Although there are zero young sponsors where I go, I need to branch out, it’s just difficult with work and school on the bus. I appreciate their wisdom and all, our personalities just generally clash. We actually have specifically younger groups that are super packed, but it’s about a 3 hour chunk of may day with travel time, so it just doesn’t work. I need to find like an AA carpool LOL!
I would try calling the service center in that area. They may be able to hook you up with a ride. My sponsor is actually younger than me. But I also have a gentleman about 20 years older than me that I considered. Age is definitely important, but for me their message was the thing I looked at the most.