Wtf is wrong w me

I feel so stupid… I did it again… I was doing so good. I’m still doing good. I went to rehab. I got my daughter back from cps case closed I got a job a car. I’m paying bills… But today I went out of my way and messed up… And for what? I’m not enjoying the high. I’m plagued with guilt and shame… Why did I do this. I’m so happy and content with my life right now why did I do it. Now I’m hiding in my room scared cause I don’t want anyone to notice… I don’t wanna tell the truth but I don’t wanna lie either… I tried talking to God but I feel like hes tired of it… Like hes already heard it before… Why can’t I let go of people that I know are no good for me… Why do I want attention from a world that will kill me

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Get rid of any extra. Get some sleep if you can. And start your day count over tomorrow. One slip up doesnt have to be a huge stepback. You have the power to decide.

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This is good. You aren’t happy with your decision to use and that is the most important thing. We have all relapsed and we are all human. The most important thing is to get sober again and stay sober again. That is all that matters now.

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This is a great watch to understand addiction.
It’s a bit long but worth the watch. I hope it helps :heart:

https://youtu.be/l1mjGLqLvxA

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I am glad you came here for help. Yes, get rid of what you have. I think sometimes being “successful” as in not screwing up is so far out there from what we are used to, that we have to screw it up. You risk losing your daughter, your job and probably your car. ( I am just guessing, of course I do not know) Be the success and non drug or alcohol person that you have shown yourself you can be. Stay true to yourself and you sober on the right path cause. Forget the other stuff.

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I think most addicts have been there at some point. I’m learning that the only true failure happens when we stop trying. Try again tomorrow. The people that you’re of service too on this Earth needs you and is depending on you.

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You are just like everyone here, we alcoholics and addicts go out of our way to do stupid things.

What are you doing to keep clean and sober? What will you do next time you are faced with using, to prevent a relapse.

Relapse happens, it doesnt have to…its a choice. When we a clean and sober, we can choose how to avoid it.

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He is not tired of it. He may have heard it before, but He has heard it from so many of us. And has offered all of us grace. If talking to God helps then talk to Him. Lay it at His feet. Lay it ALL at His feet, and He will take it away. You have to give it to Him and not pick it back it back up. Whatever “it” may be. Trust me it is very hard. You may fall down. It is human nature AND you may have to do it more than once. AND He loves you no matter what. And He is so proud of you for reaching out to Him in your time of need.

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Progress, not perfection. You’re on the right path.

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He’s not tired of you. He loves his prodigal children. Yes, he’s heard it all before, over and over since the fall. Doesn’t change a thing.

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whσα thєrє nєllíє! чσu juѕt ѕαíd чσu wєrє dσíng wєll. чσu wєrє dσíng ѕσ wєll thαt чσu rєwαrdєd чσurѕєlf чσur drug σf chσícє- fσr nσt uѕíng…вαѕícαllч. thαt’ѕ σk. чσu hαvє tσ knσw thαt thíѕ cαn вє α tríggєr. wє uѕєd fσr αnч αnd αll rєαѕσnѕ fσr α lσng tímє. thαt íѕ whєn ѕσmєthíng íѕ wrσng σf cσurѕє- вut wє dídn’t nσtícє- ít wαѕ αlѕσ α grєєnlíght tσ uѕє whєn nσthíng wαѕ wrσng- whєn єvєrчthíng wαѕ αll ríght. gívє чσurѕєlf α вrєαk. thíѕ rєlαpѕє dídn’t mαkє чσu wєαkєr. rєlαpѕєѕ ѕhσuld mαkє чσu ѕtrσngєr вєcαuѕє wє lєαrn frσm thєm αnd вєcσmє αwαrє nσt tσ fαll fσr thє ѕαmє tríckѕ. prєѕѕ σn, grσw αnd gєt up. trч αgαín wíth nєw ѕtrєngth αnd knσwlєdgє.

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