Yesterday I wanted to drink so bad

Unfortunately yesterday I struggled so hard not to do bad things to my body.
As a person who have ADHD and suffer for many mental illnesses stop myself when I need to do something sometimes is just impossible but this time luckily I didn’t. I’m trying so hard to stay clean but doing this alone seems impossible (I can’t rely on my father cause he don’t think I have a real problem and my mother just abandoned me almost 9 years ago because of me I guess because now she have a whole new family and act as if I never existed, and before she left she was just abusive, quite funny huh?).
Anyways… I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel weak because of my feelings that I try to hide and I did it well in front of others but there’s nothing much I can do to fool myself enough and convince me that I’m fine because I’m obviously not. I’m tired of the voices, the only way I knew to stop them was drinking and now I don’t even know how to cope with this mess I am.


This is the key right here. We have to learn new coping skills. It’s not easily done, but it is possible and rewarding. My heart goes out to you. :blue_heart:

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So sorry your having a bad time your not alone you got us all on here wanting to help you . Have u tried doing any online meetings? I prefer face to face meetings but through these hard time so many people go online. Please keep opening up to us it helps to get our problems and feeling out in the open x

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I know you can say anything, but what worked for you?

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First thing that happened was I changed my mind. I knew that I needed to do something different from what I was doing because I was physically killing myself with alcohol and emotionally I was already destroyed.
I decided that I would listen to others who had been through the healing process before me, mostly because I didn’t have any one to talk to about the emotional pain that I was in and I needed friends.
Then I began praying every day. Not because I believed that there was a man in the clouds who granted wishes for us, but because someone told me that if I practiced recognizing and expressing my gratitude on a daily basis that it would change the way I perceive my situation. (That was true)
The next thing I did was I started learning about my own spiritually and how to nurture it. I help others without seeking recognition. I practice forgiveness of others ESPECIALLY when they don’t deserve it. I Try to let go of resentments towards others even if they badly wronged me.
I told myself over and over that there is a consciousness outside of myself that binds my spirit to everything else in this world, and that alcoholics or anyone that faces a similar trama/adversity that have no choice over that affliction is on a higher spiritual path. We’re destined to find out who we really are in our hearts and soul by experiencing who we are not (we are not just worthless drunks/addicts without value).
I can go on and on about what is working to keep me sober. It’s not always easy, but it does get easier. The cravings subside with time. There are also a lot of necessary steps in learning to accept ourselves and the mistakes we’ve made that hurt other people.


By the way, welcome to the community my friend :slightly_smiling_face: