Hey I’m sorry. Been off track. But I’m here
I’m glad you are back
This is the track. If you are here, you are back on it.
Ok, @Heddy. I see you are online sometimes and probably PMing with people. Are you doing ok? Lol, come tell me I’m a cunt so we know you are ok.
I’m still here, Day 77. My mom died on June 4, so…she was given 5-7 days left to live once she completely refused food/water. I held vigil for 8 days, but she kept clinging to life. It was traumatic to see her like that, starving. I wished I could end her suffering. By the 9th day I had to leave her. My kids needed me and I just couldn’t bear to see her so deteriorated. She was on morphine every 2 hours, so I hope she wasn’t in too much pain. She died at 3am on the 10th day. Alzheimer’s. She was 69. So, still sober. Won’t let her death be the reason I drink.
Holy wow. I am sorry to hear that. My condolences.
So sorry for your loss girl. Hugs!
So sorry to hear about your Mom.
So sorry for your loss. I know first-hand what it’s like to watch someone you love’s mind slip away. For me it was watching my Mom’s final slide back into unchecked schizophrenia. I would imagine Alzheimer’s is very painful to deal with.
I know you will remember her as she was, before this illness attacked her mind, and I pray that these fond memories shine so much more brightly, that the dark ones of illness are washed out by the light.
Sober Peace to you.
I’m so sorry for your loss, sending an E-hug to you!
Congratulations on the safe and sober delivery of your son.
Thank you. I know I should be focusing now on the times before she was sick, but at the moment I find it hard not to think of her final days. I saw her on Mother’s Day, when she’d already started refusing food. She was so sad. Her body was paralyzed by then, she couldn’t even move her arms. When I left, I heard her call my name, but I didn’t go back, and now wish I had. It was no small feat for her to remember my name and fight through all the plaque and tangles to call it out. It was meal time, and I thought they’d have better luck feeding her without my distraction. I tried to feed her, but she didn’t want it. I’m haunted that I didn’t return on the 9th day of her active dying, but my heart was just shattered and she was a shell. I tried to be with her for 8 days so I could be with her when she passed. No one could believe she was still hanging on. I think back to all the days over the last 8 years of the disease where I wish I held onto her tighter, but I was having my babies then and only had so much resources to go around. She lived next door to me for 4 of those years, and I did my best. I do worry it will be a long journey back to being able to think of her as anything other than having Alzheimer’s. I have had days when I do wish I had the luxury of numbing out. But I’m still here.
That is so much to deal with. If there is anything we can do in the way of providing distraction or something please don’t be shy. I get wanting to be alone too though.
@Annie_Craton hope you’re well.
@Heddy so sorry for your loss, I’m not sure how I’d handle that if I were in your shoes. Keep her in your thoughts, know that she’s in a better place. Stay in the present and don’t forget to enjoy life because it’s still happening, and those around you still want and need you in their lives.
Very sorry for your loss @Heddy. I wish you peace, love and strength to get through these difficult times.
Glad to see you here! I haven’t been on the forum much as I’ve been focusing on other things. Sorry to hear you’re going through some stuff, sending well wishes your way.