You are missed


#842

Hey I’m sorry. Been off track. But I’m here


#843

I’m glad you are back


#844

This is the track. If you are here, you are back on it.


#845

Where’s @Elisabeth? Hope she’s OK.


#846

Damn right - and @Melrm and @Naturehippy.


#847

Ok, @Heddy. I see you are online sometimes and probably PMing with people. Are you doing ok? Lol, come tell me I’m a cunt so we know you are ok.


#848

I’m still here, Day 77. My mom died on June 4, so…she was given 5-7 days left to live once she completely refused food/water. I held vigil for 8 days, but she kept clinging to life. It was traumatic to see her like that, starving. I wished I could end her suffering. By the 9th day I had to leave her. My kids needed me and I just couldn’t bear to see her so deteriorated. She was on morphine every 2 hours, so I hope she wasn’t in too much pain. She died at 3am on the 10th day. Alzheimer’s. She was 69. So, still sober. Won’t let her death be the reason I drink.


#849

Holy wow. I am sorry to hear that. My condolences.


#850

So sorry for your loss girl. Hugs!


#851

So sorry to hear about your Mom. :heart:


#852

Heddy,

So sorry for your loss. I know first-hand what it’s like to watch someone you love’s mind slip away. For me it was watching my Mom’s final slide back into unchecked schizophrenia. I would imagine Alzheimer’s is very painful to deal with.

I know you will remember her as she was, before this illness attacked her mind, and I pray that these fond memories shine so much more brightly, that the dark ones of illness are washed out by the light.

Sober Peace to you.


#853

I’m so sorry for your loss, sending an E-hug to you! :hearts:


#854

Congratulations on the safe and sober delivery of your son. :pray:


#855

Thank you. I know I should be focusing now on the times before she was sick, but at the moment I find it hard not to think of her final days. I saw her on Mother’s Day, when she’d already started refusing food. She was so sad. Her body was paralyzed by then, she couldn’t even move her arms. When I left, I heard her call my name, but I didn’t go back, and now wish I had. It was no small feat for her to remember my name and fight through all the plaque and tangles to call it out. It was meal time, and I thought they’d have better luck feeding her without my distraction. I tried to feed her, but she didn’t want it. I’m haunted that I didn’t return on the 9th day of her active dying, but my heart was just shattered and she was a shell. I tried to be with her for 8 days so I could be with her when she passed. No one could believe she was still hanging on. I think back to all the days over the last 8 years of the disease where I wish I held onto her tighter, but I was having my babies then and only had so much resources to go around. She lived next door to me for 4 of those years, and I did my best. I do worry it will be a long journey back to being able to think of her as anything other than having Alzheimer’s. I have had days when I do wish I had the luxury of numbing out. But I’m still here.


#856

That is so much to deal with. If there is anything we can do in the way of providing distraction or something please don’t be shy. I get wanting to be alone too though.


#857

Thinking about you tonight @anon34614660 Hope you are doing well!


#859

@Annie_Craton hope you’re well.

@Heddy so sorry for your loss, I’m not sure how I’d handle that if I were in your shoes. Keep her in your thoughts, know that she’s in a better place. Stay in the present and don’t forget to enjoy life because it’s still happening, and those around you still want and need you in their lives.


#860

Very sorry for your loss @Heddy. I wish you peace, love and strength to get through these difficult times.


#861

@Twowaymirror don’t make me call you


#862

Glad to see you here! I haven’t been on the forum much as I’ve been focusing on other things. Sorry to hear you’re going through some stuff, sending well wishes your way.