I went six years withought doing meth which in the past killed me,two years off crack and coke and this last month I’ve relapsed Multiple times.
Break up last winter that still affects me,lost my job because leg surgeries and now I live on a freinds couch and am on disability,have to start therapy again and have self diagnosed clinical depression.
My roomate is the sweetest person ive ever met yet he’s an alchaholic,smokes crack regularly,and never cleans.
He wants to figure out a way to get a two bedroom because we work well together overall but I don’t know if that will be healthy for me.
I’m depressed and lost most of the time but feel trapped.
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I heard someone else say this on here. “You hang out at a barber shop long enough, your bound to get a haircut.”
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I am extending love, compassion and kindness. Relapse isn’t starting over - it’s starting with experience. You know what being ln sobriety is like - perhaps you need more support to continue onto the path of recovery? I offer - take it if it helps, leave if it doesn’t
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That’s a lot on your plate.
I can tell you’re stretched thin. As sweet as roommate is, that environment is not a viable long term strategy. If he’s drinking and using all the time, he’s probably going to attract others who drink and use. Eventually, you’re gonna come home from a shitty week at your new job, your leg’s gonna be aching, you’ll be on a town mood and some rando is gonna offer you a hit before you go to bed.
Don’t put yourself in the line of fire.
I recommend when your leg is doing better and you feel up to it, you try find a dug/drink-free home.
I’m sure that’s easier said than done, but in the long run, it’ll be the best thing you ever did for yourself.
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Not like that,no randos show up it’s just us.
I meet people.
I mean I’m trying,looked up na meetings one right down street,have my church picked out but drank and read last Sunday instead,hanging out with family and keeping my sadness to myself so it doesn’t burden others.
I’m going back to intake to get back into therapy tomorrow,and calling about missed doctors appointments.
I’m not going to be able to do anything with this depression holding me close.
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Share it.
If you can’t talk to anyone IRL then share your sadness with us. You gotta unburden yourself. None of us do this alone.
(((Hugs)))
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Ha! Thats great,and oh dam I have to find the money to go to my barber and get my brows done.
And yeah,I was able to say no at first now I’m back to the what the fuck aftermath.
Honestly,I have a career plan,and a lot of tools but working with them is another thing.
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You gotta stop this line of thinking. My therapist just told me last night that I have to stop isolating myself when I get down. It’s the opposite of what we need. And not sharing our sadness robs others of the joy they can experience from helping us. Depression is a beast that’s best fought with an army. You’re not doing yourself or anyone else any favors by staying away from family & friends when you’re down. And I agree with what’s been said regarding your roommate. Sounds like not a good long term solution if you want to stay sober. I hope you find what you need and that you keep reaching out on here.
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“Depression is a beast that’s best fought with an army…” Wow, this hits the nail right on the head and spot on!!
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I’ve tried fighting it alone too many times. Never works. That’s my truth. 
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Yeah well,I need to talk to stranger’s,not family not freinds.
I need to go to my church that I’ve had picked out for a year but haven’t stepped foot in.
I just can’t talk to my freinds,or I just don’t because some take it as a challenge,some have bigger problems.
I’m not religious but I am desperate to stop, I’ve been to church for the last 4 days and prayed for strength, courage and forgiveness, I’ve been clean and sober everyday I have prayed. If you knew me it is totally crazy I’m even saying this but it helped it truly does, at the end of the day what you got to lose.
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We call that “the gift of desperation”. Whatever works, right?? You keep doing exactly what you’re doin pal 
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Addicts cant live together, recovering or not.
Not going to, it IS dragging you down.
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