You Might Be An Addict If

Life in Recovery
1

You might be an addict if, mosquitos get a buzz after attacking you

The lab technician testing your urine sample gets high off the fumes

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2

You might be an addict if the dentist gets drunk off your breath

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4

Lol! Speaking from experience there? :rofl:

8

Ouch! That does sound like an addiction to me!

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9

Damn this was a joke, but as a new sober person I never correlated the fact that I use visine religiously with addiction. It’s really obvious in retrospect lol

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10

4 in the morning, in the all night garage. 2 bottles of wine and a pack of beer in the basket.

I add a packet of M&Ms.

Because I don’t want the checkout girl to think I’m an alcoholic.

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11

If you put hairspray in your seltzer water… :flushed:

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12

If you forgot your ID at home on a beer run so you buy mouthwash instead.

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13

If you measure the size of your booze stash in hours.

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14

You feign interest in the wine experts description of varietals and regions when all you really want to say is “just give me the cheapest possible bottle that doesn’t taste like shit! - well actually, bottle 2 can taste like shit because by then I won’t care”

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15

Ha! In my case, I quite literally pulled out my phone in the liquor store a few times, used the calculator, and based my decision 100% on maximum efficiency:

(BAC * volume) / (price + taxes + deposit)

Of course, I only did the calculation a few times, because addiction made it really easy to commit it to memory.

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16

You say " it’s not mine!" when your client finds an empty can of 5% Stella hidden behind a washing machine, which then lays the blame on the lodger. But she knows he only drinks 4% Carling!

You have a can of beer on the go in the utility room when your drinking wine in the living with the wife!

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17

When you go back to the same garage when the same shift of staff is on and you justify it by saying your sister in law has just turned up!

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18

-Do you prefer red or white?
-I prefer under $15 a bottle, with the highest alcohol content available.

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19

Lol. Maybe try *preferred!

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20

You stash all the wine bottles at the bottom of the recycle bin but the guy that rummages through them still knows which one is ‘the big score.’

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21

oh, this one is great.

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22

You go to the shop to buy your 8 can “limit” ur wife thinks you drink and you drink the 2 extra ones u bought on the way home which is actually only across the road from the shop!

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23

You might be an addict if the only baggies of liquids you put on an airline security scanner belt were filled with bourbon miniatures.

It was extra special doing that at say 6am, while saying “mornin’” to the staring at me TSA agents.

You might be an addict if you googled if doing so was “allowed” or not. Had to get around paying for so many draaanks on flights.

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24

You offer you’re father in law a glass of single malt, take the bottle out of the cylindrical container and the bottle is empty … shit !

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