Zero patience

Does anyone else feel like they have zero patience for things they usually had no problem putting up with or dealing with before deciding to get sober? Some people in my life… I just feel like I cant deal with them and the way they think or just them in general. Is it just me? I kinda feel bad but cant help but think they just may be too toxic for me. These have been friends since jr high. I feel like an asshole for ignoring calls but I just cant.

(I know I say just a lot… sorry :rofl::rofl:)


I feel now I have more patience, bc I was taught it very young, but I totally understand what you’re going thru. For me I think it’s more that I’m finally seeing people for what they truly are without being hazy. My bf is one that I’m still getting used to. After 4 years of drinking with him, and then stopping, I realized that I didnt really know him. And felt like I’m in a whole new relationship. Its frustrating sometimes, as he still drinks/drugs. There’s a lot about his views on certain things that I just cant agree with now. Whereas before I didnt care about anything. It’s a work in progress bc, like me, hes a sweetheart when hes sober and he put up with me for longer than he should have. As for friends, at least you dont live with them so you don’t have to see them everyday. And I’m not sure how many days you have but I’d say take some time to yourself and dont feel bad about it. It could also be your emotions trying to get back to normal. I know around 6 weeks(my 1st time around) I was crying constantly and always in a bad mood. But it did go away. Keep up the good fight! You’ll figure out who your true friends are eventually :heart::heart::heart:


Sooo, yes this was a big one for me too. I did feel with all my years of drinking I had not known myself or my friends very well anymore at all and it was a relief to feel this change. I began to have standards again, for myself and also the people I want in my life. Relationships became more stable and more respectful and also deeper, again. I did experience exasperation with some people and have either been able to be more honest about my expectations and feelings, or have quietly decided to distance myself from a few people when I felt the relationship did not give me much and didn’t have room to develop really. This has been healing for me, to feel I don’t need to get everything from everybody, and can’t either.
It is also totally fine to take as much time and space as you want just to get to know yourself again, and grow into the person you are and will be. Friends will grow with you in some cases, it may surprise you. Don’t stress about it, it will happen naturally. Embrace the change. :slight_smile:


I was full of shit as a person when I was drunk, so I saw life through bullshit colored goggles. I have taken off those goggles as a result of getting sober and now my bullshit tolerance is zero.


Yeah, I’ve been noticing that I’ve been grumpy and in bad moods a little bit more often. I think it’s because typically that’s when I would start drinking in the past to make myself feel “happy.”

It usually only happens to me if I’m really tired or busy with stuff and someone starts bothering me, it certainly hasn’t been the norm since I became sober. I think like others have said it’s one of those “getting to know yourself” things.

I also noticed that I need a lot more caffeine because I’m getting a lot more done during the day. So it’s also possible that I’ve been more irritable at times in my sobriety just because my days have been much more full, but 95% of the time that’s a great thing :slightly_smiling_face:

I think it’s something that we just have to learn to manage and adapt too, as it’s an emotion we aren’t used to having to process as sober people.


I completely agree with the heightened need for caffeine related to productivity…what a difference.

And I am really beginning to enjoy the calm ( relatively) state of mind I have now, when there is any sort of argument in our house. I’m much better at maintaining a level of respectfully listening and so many fewer things cause me to lose emotional control. But I’m also figuring out a ton of stuff about my triggers, as you say " getting to know myself".


I agree 100%, it’s a hell of a journey!