Joining for support in recovery. I have started over several times over the last 6 months. I want to get continued sobriety under my belt and be able to focus on other things in my life. I want to move forward! I am a mommy to a little guy and am engaged to the love of my life, my best friend from childhood. After my divorce, we reconnected and fell in love! He and I are both in recovery. Him from drugs and me from alcohol. I’ve never been a big fan of drugs. BUT, damn I could put some alcohol down with the best. I was usually the drunkest one at the party, dinner, etc. As time went on, the parties stopped but I kept on drinking. That’s when it turned darker and darker. I hid it. I did it whenever and at all hours. I lived with constant pain and regret. I was told it seemed I didn’t care who I hurt. That, of course, was not the case. I did care which made my pain and regret worse, which made me feel like shit. I am no longer hurting others, but I am hurting myself by drinking. I know I cannot keep going at the rate I was, and I have no regulation over the “rate.” That’s why abstinence is the way to go. I’m grateful to be here.