I am a mother, a daughter, and a sister. I made the decision to get clean March 4th, 2020, and as hard as it is to admit, I had to do it for me, not anyone else. Learning has always been one thing that not even drugs could take from me, and over the course of a few years, (graduating from scc in ‘08, seeing some friends of mine sober up, being in jail, having warrants for my arrest, etc.) I gathered knowledge but knew not how to use it. In 2012 I was working full time and found out my fiance at the time was hiding a huge secret. (He was a sex offender and had been hiding it for 5 yeArs). I was so angry, hurt and lost even though it seemed clear to me how I needed to handle the situation. We were trying to have a baby, and I was 2 months along when I had an abortion. This threw me into a deep deep depression. I lost it. Alcohol, meth, and pills became my life. My 7 year old son went to live with my mother and I went further off the deep end for 7 years. One of my lowest points was when I was in a local grocery store bathroom trying to shoot up drugs. A mother and daughter came in while I was in the stall, and I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t believe I was that big of a screw-up, missing my own child’s life, just to use, that I had become such a piece of work. That day did not make me quit, even though it was rough, I kept using for three more years. (Homless, using, stealing, unsuccessful attempts at treatment, etc.) I knew that I had only one hope to quit. God. He was the only one I hadn’t turned to. Crying and contemplating suicide, I prostrated myself before God and begged him to take away my addiction. (It worked but it took some time, something about mysterious ways and all…) I have been to jail twice because of drugs and around here they call it Jesus’ hotel. About a year ago, I was locked up in a zero tolerance state, meaning any drugs of any kind or amount we’re harshly punished and I was looking at prison time. God be the only power that could save me from the courts, they reduced the charge from a felony to just misdemeanor and I was released after 34 days. While I was there I took part in a program that teaches us drug use and alcoholism is not a disease, but that it can be removed by your higher power. It teaches you how your body is affected and how recovery works through God. That was Gods answer to my prayer!! That was last year. 2019. Now I am strong in my recovery, I did have 2 relapses, but at 94 days now, I see no going back. My new fiance is in recovery as well, and some say that it won’t work, but we are accountable to God and to one another, and we are each others biggest fans. Ask God. Pray to your higher power, and it will be done.