I have had many different relationships with alcohol over the last 23 years. When I was 18, alcohol helped numb the pain and fear of death after my brother died in an accident. In my 20’s alcohol was used to numb my anxiety from living with an overly critical boyfriend, then used to fill the void of being on my own. And on it went. In my 30’d, alcohol was used as a reward after working and mothering all day. My relationship with alcohol finally ended when I was having disabling panic attacks and finally admitted to myself what I have known all along, I can no longer drink. Plain and simple. Looking forward to this journey on this forum with everyone here. Trust the journey!