Obviously I am an alcoholic. I lost my two soulmates. One in 2007 & one in 2016. I am also co-dependent. I found my boyfriend 5 months after my husband’s death. I carry a lot of guilt about that. I have some deep seated idea to kill myself by drinking hard and my health has totally deteriorated. I just broke my hip three weeks ago. I am learning to be grateful through God for my life.