I seem to get as far as 5 days then the demons come out to play, I hit a block and have to restart, I’ve probably done some of the hardest things trying to get sober, I’ve gone to a doctor who refused to help me as they outsourced the need to other agencies, I’ve seen a psychiatrist who has said I’m not a great need, they don’t see me as a problem drinker, I’ve gone to an agency that the doctors outsourced to with my drink diary and even they have said that there was no need for intervention. I have phoned rehab clinics only to be told that a 14 day course would be £5,000 (UK) and £11000 for a month (I can’t afford this). I have told my close friends and family that I have a drink problem and they listen and support me. I’ve almost ruined my marriage and brought it back from the brink through marriage counselling, I’ve dealt with social care and they have closed the case. I have and can self assess why I got here and what triggered me but I’m struggling to get past day 5, I’m all about healthy eating, I practice it daily and meditation before bed, I’m semi active with kickboxing when I can and taking my kids to the park. I don’t go out to clubs or pubs as it just doesn’t interest me. If I go for a meal with my work I drive so don’t drink, I read and avoid social media. Really need ideas to stay focused and get past the 5 day mark
I’m pretty active anyway, I’m a mum of two boys, I’m a chef and get the opportunity to top up my hours as a nursery assistant, my husband is too ill to work, I do kickboxing and so do my kids, plus they do swimming and one does gymnastics and the other art club, plus birthday parties when the weekend comes it’s like a go slow, I don’t know if I’m burning the candle at both ends and I need a release or if I am so used to being hectic that I’m bored. Finances don’t stretch so can’t really afford to be paying out for family days.
Forgot to mention that as my husband is the one at home he does get the children ready in the morning, and takes them to school, he cooks, cleans and does the daily errands, so come the weekend he sees his friends and goes mini moto racing, I should add he’s teetotal, I however feel like I have no down time
Hope not to sound negative, I’ve just read some of the articles, I already keep a journal, I also started a blog in November, although I gave up on poetry when I met my husband and as he’s a DJ music to express our feelings is a big part of our household, good or bad, although I do quite like the cinema on your own as a good idea, the cinema is at the top of my street and only £6.50 a screening
Congrats on the 5 days @RedDragon. Have you tried learning about how alcohol affects your body or how others have handled similar situations. We have a book club on here. It has helped me to stay sober. The naked mind was a good book and put drinking into perspective for me. Do you have an AA meeting near You? Never thought I would attend a meeting but it was the best thing I ever did for myself and my family. Keep coming back and chatting it helps to know your not alone. I’m proud of you 
I haven’t been to an AA meeting yet, I think there is one in a church close to me but haven’t managed to get the courage to go by myself, feel a bit intimidated if I’m honest,
@RedDragon I was nervous as hell to go to my first meeting. Thankfully they were super welcoming “normal” people. Not sure what i expected them to be but they were just like me. Hard working, old, young, lots of parents, most highly educated, kind loving people. I think I thought I wouldnt belong. After the meeting I was relieved. I felt more comfortable in that meeting than anywhere else. No one understands a alcoholic/addict better than another alcoholic/addict. They don’t judge you. Keep coming here. I’m proud of you. This is hard stuff.
Thank you, I’m coming up on day 5 again, so got to get past the detox stage 
Hey just checking in to see how things are going.
I’m ok, feeling really rough this weekend I’ve picked up the horrible sickness bug from my son, to be fair I’ve been in bed most of the time with awful stomach cramps, thank you for checking in on me, I did get past the 5 days so far gotten to 6 might only be a small improvement but I’m sure it’ll be better next week
I’m glad you’re doing better. Relapse is a part of my story to, but I have to caution you against making it a part of recovery plan. My second relapse almost killed me. I ODed while alone and then wanted to kill myself. We are not guaranteed second chances, let alone third and fourth chances.
Rather than aiming for a certain number of days, I don’t drink one day at a time. Wake up each morning and only worry about not drinking that day. If you do that you will be surprised how quickly the days add up.
Pretty sound advice, I have a terrible habit of planning or thinking about things weeks or months in advance, even things that I can’t control the outcome. My husband is trying to help me with that side of thinking
I can only pass along what was freely given to me. Share the wealth and spread the love
Have to say that for the first time in a while I really didn’t think about having a drink on a Friday night, I was naturally tired and it hadn’t crossed my mind, it helped that I asked my husband to take the bank cards with him when he went out so I had no financial way to buy alcohol
That’s awesome - must have felt really good.
It did I was really proud of myself
So I right royally fucked up, after two weeks sober I decided that I could have a drink, well that didn’t fucking end well at all, I’ve been under extreme pressure and stress lately, financially, I’m the only one in my household who works, I support a husband and two young boys, I’m a chef, a job I hate right now and I’m dealing with an ass hole of a finance company that I’m going through consumer law with, so I decided to have a drink to get numb from the fact that my kids have a shite life being poor. Wasn’t always this way 
, it did not end well, I took alot out on my husband and hurt him emotionally, he phoned my mum for help that night, we’re Bearley talking but I don’t blame him
Remember that horrible feeling. He may not keep throwing it in your face but he was hurt by your actions that night. You are the only one that can fix this. Please get to another meeting. Glad you came back. That took guts. You can do this.
From what I know being a chef is a high stress job. Stress leads to resentments. Resentments lead to drinking. Drinking leads to nothing good.
I have noticed that you don’t seem to post while under the influence. Or if you do you are an incredibly coherent drunk. You can feel free to post about your relapse on the main forum so long as you aren’t under the influence. There’s a much larger group to draw strength from there and quite possibly someone who has been through your same situation.
Being the sole earner is difficult, but not impossible, during recovery. However it’s harder to make time to find support. Maybe consider trying online meetings at your convenience or reading the first 160 pages of the big book. I would recommend IOP but I don’t think it would work with your schedule.
When I was an attorney stress was constant in my life. Over time I came to realize that recovery and lawyering weren’t going to mix for me. I came to the decision to leave the field. It was a drastic step considering I was actually a pretty damn good attorney, but I had to do what needed to be done. Luckily for me my background and education has kept other doors open. You may want to consider how your skills are transferable to other fields and take a look to see if there is something better for you out there.