Facing my pain and what I've learned so far

I have figured a lot out about myself from my 17 days sober. I have had to test myself at one of the hardest times in my life and I would have NEVER dreamt that I would decide to quit drinking right now! But I am so glad that I have. Here are just a few things I have learned personally.

  1. I have felt like I lost my "friend"
    In the beginning I felt as though I had lost a friend of mine. Someone that I went to for everything good or bad in my life. I feel myself going through the stages of grief which is quite odd since alcohol isn’t a person at all! So strange.

  2. My memory is returning.
    I’ll admit I was getting a little worried there for a while before I quit drinking. I felt like my IQ was dropping at a rapid rate. It was difficult for me to put sentences together in a manor that made sense sometimes and I didn’t quite understand why. I am also recalling memories from early childhood that I had completely forgotten about… I hadn’t put the pieces of the puzzle together yet until a few days ago that it was the alcohol! Duh, it only makes sense that drinking poison would affect your brain function!

  3. I laugh WAY more than I have in years!
    I am not kidding you. I am laughing and smiling all of the time now which is strange because I am so beyond stressed out! I went to dinner with a friend today and I walked out of the restraunt feeling “high” or “drunk” in sense. She told me another friend of hers that got sober said the same thing to her when they went to dinner the other day. Must be the constant release of dopamine. Whatever it is, I am enjoying it!

  4. Facing my pain head on.
    This has been the biggest struggle. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to quit at this stage in my life (ending my 5 year relationship, moving home with my parents at 26, not being able to find a job…) but then that is also why I felt like it was so necessary to do this so that I could grow as a human being. I’m use to shoving my pain down with alcohol anytime I felt any and I think that caused me to be weak and not handle stressful situations very easily. Now that I am delving into my true feelings, fears and insecurities completely aware, I am getting an understanding of just how strong I really am and a clear understanding of the person I want to become.

  5. Weight loss and staying on track.
    Weight loss is a very big motivator for me at this point. Now it is easier to say no to alcohol once I saw the crazy results on my scale!! Drinking at least 3000 calories per week dedicated to getting drunk was a norm for me for many years. Cutting out the alcohol and being able to stay focused on clean eating has done amazing things for my waste line lately and I am excited to see the pounds keep coming off. In a way it is symbolic for me to shed the fat I accrued due to drinking and shedding the addiction and past life I had because of it.

I’m sorry my article is so long I have so much more but I’ll save it for another day. I just love everyones feedback! Please let me know things that you have learned on your journey as well! Namaste!

9 Likes

Im not sure if I’ve lost weight, but I had someone tell me I looked amazingly clear eyed (I didn’t think i had blurry eyes before). And another said they didn’t think I looked old enough to have 10 year old child, which is nonsense but still a great motivation!
I know what you mean about losing a friend I felt that way when I quit cigarettes. Not so much now though I don’t know why

3 Likes

@alexmel I’m happy to hear about the clear eyes. I’m looking forward to that. I look back at pictures and I’m like wow…what was I thinking?

2 Likes

Congrats and keep it up!