Where to begin? Hi my name is Emma I am 32. I have been drinking since the age of 9 where my mum used to let me have the froth of the top of her beer… At the age of 11 where I started high school I would regularly stay at friends houses where parents didn’t really mind us having a few drinks and then we would stay up until everyone had gone to bed and start in the hard stuff and water it down before anyone new… By the age of 18 I could handle drinking 2 bottles of wine a night which just progressed. I never thought I had a problem as it’s something I grew up with… I met my husband a few years ago he is definitely not a drinker so I cut down ALOT then started a few panic attacks as I thought I couldn’t be myself anymore then the drinking gradually increased again. A few years ago a friend of mine died due to alcohol and ice been saying I need to quit since. About a year ago around Christmas I bought litres of spirits and had gone through two bottles in the same amount of days I found my husband sat in the living room about 3am he couldn’t sleep because he was worried about my drinking. I never seem to get drunk, I rarely suffer from hangovers I don’t get the other withdrawal symptoms so I thought I couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic? Can I? I’ve said I am quitting so many times that no one has any belief in me that I can do it… Not even me… I gave up for Lent and was drinking two weeks later. My husband said he is just going to leave me to it, he’s sick of worrying and me promising to quit. I want to quit but when I think of NEVER been able to have another drink ever again it fills me with dread I’ve been drinking all my life how do I quit? My name is Emma and I am an alcoholic today is day 1 of been sober I need to do this. I WILL DO THIS
Hello Emma… you got this. Im day 4.5.
Thank you Sam 
Hi and welcome to the forum you will find lots of resources and support here!
I can’t even imagine how difficult your situation is because you have been drinking for almost all your life. So it is totally normal for you not to know who you are sober. But you will find out eventually when you commit to your journey for sobriety. It is worth it.
You’ve just said how you’re going to quit @Emmalou, by admitting you’re an alcoholic and you’re alcoholism is hurting your husband (more than you think, I’d imagine), and that this is day one.
Buckle up, because you’ve been drinking for more of your life than you’ve been sober, so you’re not going to turn this around without some serious effort.
There are so many great people on this forum who will help you, and continue to help if you slip - the only advice I can give is that I went from 1-1.5 litres of 45% proof (90% in the US) to zero nearly 150 days ago, it’s a rollercoaster, but it’s the best decision I’ve EVER made.
Welcome to the new you!
Hi Emma We are in this together, you are not alone.
I’m proud of you you keep up what you know you know what your life is going to be make it strong make it count for yourself good luck
Hi @Emmalou! I’m like you, I can’t bear to think of never having another drink ever. So I’m just committed to not having a drink TODAY. I’ve done that for 69 days in a row now, literally one day at a time. It’s much less daunting!
If you get 2 or 3 weeks under your belt you’ll notice you look better. For me, I lost some weight without even trying, but more impressively I lost the bloat in my face and neck…I didn’t even realize I was bloated, it’s been like that for so long.
Good luck, and don’t worry about “forever” just deal with today.
Welcome Emma try to remember abstinence is a choice not a punishment
Thank you Laualamp
Thank you all so so much for all your lovely comments your support is amazing and I am so grateful thank you all I know with all your support I can do this and in return I am here to support all of you too 
Hi @Emmalou and welcome to the forum. 
Congrats on taking the first big step.
There’s no requirement to stop drinking - you don’t have to feel like an alcoholic or get hangovers - you just have to want to stop. Maybe for health, maybe because it’s causing problems. We have the same goal, but came here from different roads.
Here is a useful thread on getting through early recovery:
(Surviving Alcohol Withdrawal/Early Sobriety Techniques)
And recovery-related links that members have posted:
(Different Aspects of Recovery)
Note that this forum is also available from any browser at talkingsober.com
Welcome! As others have said, only worry about today. If that’s overwhelming, worry about this hour. I have 46 days and cannot think what I will do tomorrow or I feel overwhelmed. I was tempted to drink today while out watching the Stanley Cup playoffs with friends; so I had to focus on getting through 5 minutes at a time. I’m glad I didn’t drink. I wanted “just one” but I knew that 1 = 5 or 6 followed by more later in the day, etc. You can do it!
Thank you JohnSee
Thank you Hamluv16 and we’ll done with your coping strategy proud of you for not drinking
I’m sorry I can’t reply to everyone individually but I honestly appreciate all your comments thank you
Good luck Emma.
Hi Emma. Just don’t say that you only have 46 days. It’s 46 days you have that you didn’t have 46 days ago.