So you can relate to what I do. 
I told my mother about it once, but I told her I got better and stopped doing the shots. But it started again. I feel disgusting
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You are not disgusting! We are people with a problem…that is all…
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I’m also 30 and an alcoholic.
Sober since Sunday just gone. I went out Saturday night- text abusive messages, kicked out of bars, got in a fight.
Usual story the day after say I’m not drinking again. On day 5 now don’t want to get in the same cycle I always get in
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Been there, luckily with age, the fights went away.
Just turned 31 last weekend and ruined yet another birthday. Today is day 4 without drinking and I’ve been logging into this app every day. People here give good advice and are going through or have gone through the same thing. Keep coming back and when you dont drink today, that’s a success 
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Hey @MissyJ! You are taking a step in the right direction. I definitely can relate. I’m 29 and a mother of a sweet 2 year old boy. A large part of my motivation was to be truly present in his life. I also was a daily drinker. My days would be based off of whether it was a “two tequila” or “one tequila” day. Meaning if it was good - I would start out my night with one shot and a beer the second I got home from work. If it was bad - it would be two shots and a glass of wine. You are not disgusting!!! You have recognized a problem and are actively seeking help. Reaching out takes a lot of guys in itself. You are in the right place!
Here are some tips to get you through the first few days. 
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I wish I had quit at 30!! How wonderful you are doing so!! Lots of info on here so read up and soak it in.Getting sober is pretty fucking great once you get past the initial shitty part.
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Congratulations on making the decision on getting sober,I was the same,my kids need me sober and I just hated myself.i found reading the Allen Carr book fantastic at the beginning,I’d read his smoking one and found him an awful idiot but something clicked with the drinking one.you can do this,I think you’ve already done the hardest part deciding to get sober,I’m now 113 days and feel a million times better,inside and out,good luck xx
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I am only on day 10 but we sound very similar. I hate the person I am wen I’m drinking. The things I say I would never dream of saying sober. I become selfish…self centered and at times , just plain cruel. The day I got sober was the same day my fiance of 4 years said he had enough . For me it was to late to fix or heal that relationship but I’m working on the personnel relationship with myself and that is always a good place to start . Don’t beat urself up and read this forum any chance u get. It has helped me stay focused and strong. U can do this …late is better than never 
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I could drink almost a bottle of vodka throughout a day and nobody notice which I’m really not proud of. One of my son’s asked for a lift out one night and I had to make excuses not to as I had been drinking but he didn’t know. I hate the lies, I hate what alcohol does to me, I want to he a better person
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Day 2!! Thank you for your kind words.
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I am on day 2! And it’s a baby step but I am proud. I sure will have to really keep myself busy over the weekend. Friday’s are what would have been my hard drinking night. Tonight I plan to clean my house with the music blasting! I know I can do this. We can all do this together! Such great support in here!!! 
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Be proud of every sober day
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I have been there and done that. It is a terrible feeling. Once I had an argument about not wanting to drive because I knew I just needed to have that drink soon and if I were to drive, then I wouldn’t be able to drink. I lied my way through it and I felt like crap through the whole lie and all the drinking that I did that night. What was the worst part, my son missed out on something because I refused to drive. I chose alcohol over my son.
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Thank You, I feel absolutely amazing today. No shakes, no headache, no sunglasses to hide my hangover face. No halls, gum or mint to cover the smell of booze! I feel like I am free.
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Remember this feeling! When temptation strikes, remember today!
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I’ve lied about not wanting to drive too, my excuse was I can’t see very well in the dark and it makes me nervous. Most of the time he prefers to drive but I know every now and then he likes to have a drink. Last time I drove I was really miserable half way through the evening, bored and didn’t want to talk to anyone and told him I felt ill and had a headache and wanted to go home, he believed me and we left. I feel shit that I do this to him because he is so good to me.
I’m the same way. The only one who knows the extent of my drinking is my husband. It’s scary how well I can hide how terribly I was suffering. And for that exact reason I convinced myself it wasn’t a problem. When I told my sister I had a problem she didn’t believe me. I said “Is 8 tall cans normal” her response was “on a night out once in awhile, no not at all”… “nope, just a normal week night for me”. Her jaw dropped.
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This is a big step for you, admitting that you have a problem. So go easy on yourself. We’ve all got horror stories in our past but we can grow and learn from them. But if I start to dwell on all the horrible things I did, I’ll never move on from it. I’m not saying it will be easy. Or that you’ll just wake up and feel great. But you will start to feel better. You’ll start to feel clearer. And then these feelings of shame will pass. You’ll be okay friend 
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Thank you so Much, I am so inlove with today that I don’t want it to end. But I have an issue that I really need some good advice on. I have a party to attend tomorrow, everyone is looking forward to me being there! But they don’t know about my drinking problem nor do they know I quit. I don’t want them to know, but they will question me if I am not drinking. I thought about buying alcohol free drinks but I’m not really even interested in doing that. Plus, they all say non-alcoholic… how can I even hide that. I’m not ready to talk about this with my friends and family…please help…
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