I remember my first drink of alcohol. I was 6 and my parents said let him taste a beer. As soon as it hit my tongue I said “Mmmm” to which the promptly looked worried and pulled it away from me. My grand father had a keggerator so many times in my child hood I would get drunk and watch cartoons. I ran away at the age 14 and hitchhiked and rode trains for the next 15 years. Except for age brief 2 years in the army from 06-08. My life consisted of getting drunk in bushes and using any drug I could find for many years. Strangely when I had nothing to lose it was hard for me to hit any kind of meaningful bottom. The bottom was my life. I was terrified of being alone but I always was a lone. The few relationships I had I always ended with drunken paranoia. So worried they would leave me I pushed them all away. Eventually I realized if I kept living the bum life I was going to have to face my biggest fear of being alone for the rest of my life. I had gone to aa off and on since i was 14. Never had a sponsor and never made 30 days. So recently after having found a job and an new relationship and having become a drunken asshole and lost both of them I hit a bottom. I knew my only solution was to commit suicide because I had tried and tried to change and become and normal sober person and now failure was my outcome. My stepmother has been sober for a year working steps in the fellowship and hits the Saturday meetings so i decided in would tag along. I had forgotten that people in the rooms had in many cases found a happy sobriety and beyond that that a psychic change enabling them to make many changes in themselves and become better people. That night I came to a meeting alone and picked up another white chip. The next day I got another sponsor and I’m determined to work the steps. I’m at 11 days sober right now and looking forward to doing the work needed to become a better person. I found this app while searching for tools to help inspire me in sobriety. I hope the best fort all of you. And look forward to interacting.
Well done on 11 days sober @JoshuaG. You should be proud of yourself. This app is amazing but what makes it amazing are the people. Everyone has their own reason for quitting. Welcome my friend and all the best mate
Welcome and huge congrats on your 11 days @JoshuaG - you have had some journey, but your story is so very inspiring too. You have never given up and here you are today, 11 days sober and full of hope and determination to become the better person and best version of you.
I wish you well on your journey and look forward to seeing you progress into that better person x
Thanks for sharing @JoshuaG. No matter how far the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. 
Wow , what an intense story Joshua. But am really happy that you realized that not everything is lost and that you want to find a way out of this , re-build your life and become the best version of yourself. I am so sure that this amazing community will inspire you to continue doing better and help you anytime you need it. You’ve come to a great place. Much love to you! 
Hi @JoshuaG and welcome to the forum. 
Congrats on taking the first big step.
Thanks for sharing your story. sounds like you’re off to a good start with AA and a sponsor. This forum is a great way to share help with recovery between meetings. (This forum is also available outside the App from anywhere at talkingsober.com.
Here is a useful thread on getting through early recovery:
(Surviving Alcohol Withdrawal/Early Sobriety Techniques)
And recovery-related links that members have posted:
Thanks John. I will look into those