Hi @Fearnox and welcome to the forum. 
Congrats on taking the first big step.
Thanks for sharing your painful story, and the loss of loved ones. Think of what your father and other lost loved ones would want for you and your future. I lost my mother and sister 2 weeks apart, and always keep that thought in my mind. But in the end sobriety will only work if you want it enough for yourself.
Here is a useful thread on getting through early recovery:
(Surviving Alcohol Withdrawal/Early Sobriety Techniques)
And recovery-related links that members have posted: