I’m not sure how this needs to get categorized for what topic is the false under I just know I need help. My wife has left me wanting a divorce my daughter is being taken from me and all I want to do is drink and a run away to Mexico…
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Hey there, Cpt… Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you are going through it.
The one thing I know is that neither drinking or running away to Mexico will make your situation less tenuous. I am sure you realize it will do the opposite.
I am glad you’re here. Take some time to explore, if you haven’t already. You’ll see many people here have experienced similar situations with varying outcomes.
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Hey Cpt. Glad you’re here. I can hear the pain in all you’re going through 
The problem with running away from challenges is that no matter where you go, you’ll be there. The real work is to nurture the inner you to create contentness where ever you are.
This may sound like a giant mountain to climb, especially with all you’re going through. But it’s a mountain you can climb one step at a time- by taking it one day at a time. Staying sober, and working on yourself.
The fact that you’re here tells me there’s a part of you that wants to be sober. Keep checking in. Keep coming back. We’re here for you and each other.
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Often, we drink to fill a hole in our heart. I can only imagine how much bigger that hole becomes when you lose those whom you love, but running away won’t fill that hole.
You’re at a crossroads right now, play the tape forward. If you run, not only will justify your wife’s disposition, but you will still have that hole, everyday for the rest of your life.
On the otherhand, you can fight for your life and prove them wrong and you can prove to yourself that you are worthy.
It hurts and it feels unbearable, but the right choice is to be sober and be the best you that you can be.
Maybe start with a meeting and go from there.
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I feel like God has led me to read your post.
Bro, I was in exactly the same place you’re in right now back in Oct of 2016. Ex-wife was resolute in her determination to end our marriage, take the home and have more custody of our kids. I was sure my life was over with no real friends to support me and all my family overseas. I wanted to die at several points or drink and drug myself trying.
Fast forward to today and I met a lady much more suited to me 3 years ago, we have a home that’s nicer than the one I had, she has 2 kids as well so we have a big loving family and I’m sober and never been happier. Meanwhile, ex-wife is lonely and miserable.
The bad news for you my friend is you are just starting down this hellish journey and unable to think or act rationally based on your post. My advice is that drugs and booze don’t help…but may seem like they do. More importantly, you gotta wrap your head around the notion that no matter how much you suffer, your ex could care less…so ur only hurting yourself pointlessly (and your kid).
If you had no kids…then yeah…maybe go to Mexico, but you do, and you’re a dad. So step up, be a man and accept the situation, focus on getting a fair financial and custody settlement and start going to the gym and stop drinking. How much…or how little suffering you make yourself endure is up to you and you alone. But I can move from survive to thrive…you can too. You got this!!!
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I’m new to this um platform? I just subscribed to premium, bc yes I am spiraling of younger patterns… but I am a father to an amazing 3yo girl (from a dumb fling prior to my marriage) but in August last year I finally got full custody from her mom just to have my wife (Payton’s only mother figure) just leave… she created a whole new relationship with someone else like we never existed and that kills me… I love her still but it feels more like my wife died by the way she’s abandoned us
… amidst this i was too emotionally compromised and hurt my daughter. Now cps is involved and I am a complete wreck… I know SOMETHING has to change… but I don’t know how to, as you said, wrap my head around everything
…
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Neither of those things will help you right now. You need to be present and focussed to deal with this situation. Talk to your partner. Is there a chance for the marriage? What can you do if there is? If there is not a chance, how can things be arranged so you are still a part of your child’s life.
Hey buddy. I’m so glad you found this forum. You will find many others here that have gone through something similar or even worse! We are here to support you. You are not alone.
Sounds like the police had to get involved. Are you formally working on getting and staying sober so that CPS can see that you are making changes and be more apt to give your daughter back?
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Yes I am in an IOP program at the recovery center here in town including parenting and anger management classes, I am also seeing someone about my mental health as well.
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She’s gone long gone…
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I’m in my fiest hour. I am actively taking intensove outpatient classes at an addiction recovery facility here for anger management, parenting, and CBT. My ex wife is long gone in a new relationship and it’s the most most painful thing next to what I’m dealing with my daughter. Last night I was able to finally grieve and… but I bawled the whole night non-stop… I feel like she died and ive never hurt like this… I REALLY appreciate the support, and I am drained from yesterday. I am not running away but I definitely don’t have any fight left I’m completely drained of all energy and emotion the only thing I feel is the crater in my chest
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Sometimes when we dont feel we have any fight left in us a glimer of strength gives us the courage to reach out even further and thats what you’ve done by logging in here. Im inspired by you, your honesty and your resilience. Thank you
Welcome to the forum
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I am sorry to hear that. Then you need to take steps to build a new life, connecting to your child, having things in your life that can fill your cup emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. Outside of the marriage, what friends, colleagues, hobbies, work, etc, do you have? And of course, this will have to be created little by little, be kind to yourself. But be positive that your life isn’t over just because your marriage is.
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I’m so glad you are taking this step and I hope IOP is able to set you up on a solid path of recovery in sobriety. Keep checking in and let us support you.
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How are you today?
I hope things are better or at least that you start feeling that way very soon.
Welcome to this great place, here to help.
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