1 YEAR GAME FREE-then and now-what's next?

Your Story
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A year and a few hours ago I checked into rehab for a gaming addiction. I was a pale skinny skid with greasy hair, unshaved with a crooked back and yellow teeth. There was over a month in between each time toothbrushing. I was sleeping barely. Suicidal. I gamed 18 hours a day. I was aggressive. Looking for attention in any way possible. Pathetic really.

Rehab was really a lifesaver. I am %100 certain I would have killed myself by now.

  • I learned about the drama triangle. (Accuser, rescuer, victim)
  • I learned how I drowned myself in self-pity(victim)and would do anything I could to get attention, mostly negative attention.
  • I learned that I always put blame on anything but me(accuser)
  • I let go of the past, the traumas, the mental and physical abuse from my dad.
  • I forgave myself for everything. For all those times I **Redacted**. For all those times I yelled at my family or attacked them when they turned off my game.
  • I found a new love. Me. I finally loved myself.

In the times since I’ve sadly lost that love for myself. I blame myself again for everything and my hygiëne is complete and utter shite again. It’s bad, but not nearly like life with gaming.
For 3 months I did the work. Then I thought, yay I did it, now resume life as if nothing has changed. I started watching YouTube again and it went downhill hard. I nearly relapsed about 10 times. Once I even started typing an answer for someone in a trivia game as they had their hands full. The second I realized what I was doing I stopped, so I didn’t count it as a relapse as I had no intent of actually gaming. I started self-sabotaging again.
I think it’s quit obvious my way does not work.

So this year will be different. I will do the work. I will stop recreational screen usage entirely. Even muting meme threads. I have finally gotten a sponsor to help me through the steps. Wish me luck.

P.S. I know this isn’t your standard one year thread, but I’ve decided to share that my recovery is not perfect as there are some important lessons in my story

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Nah :joy: it’s no shave November

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Thank you for being so open and honest with us Jan. I learn something new about you every time you post. For example, I didn’t know you got a sponsor. That’s great to hear!
You are so smart and wise beyond your years. Keep up the hard work. Has anyone told you how amazing you are lately? Well, you are!!!
Congratulations on your awesome accomplishment!!

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Congrats man!! You’re a huge asset to TS and I’m glad you’re here.

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Congrats! Huge accomplishment!

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Thanks Lisa :blush:

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Thanks @Nordique and Scott @Thirdmonkey

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Let’s see the no shave November pics!!

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Your beard can learn something from mine :rofl: :joy:

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Not bad for a young chap!

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Imma shave it as soon as this month is over. Might grow something once it isn’t patchy

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Makes sense. I got lucky…all the men in my family grow beards just like that.

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I fucking envy you lol

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Lol, luck of the draw with the facial hairing genes

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Huge congratulations. I’ve learned so much from your shares here. Thank you.

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