10 days sober again, first time I managed from 31st October to when I was hospitalised until 26th December. Ended up on a binge again, litre of Vodka everyday accompanied with some cans and then pass out and continue drinking whatever is left if anything.
Was hospitalized again on the 4th of this month and haven’t had a drink since but the last two days have been tough. I’m on Antabuse but haven’t had a tablet in 2 days and I’m contemplating drinking just so I can get some sleep. I have to work a small job in the morning, I’m already procrastinating, I know I’ll have money tomorrow too and I’ve found myself already adding up in my head how much I can buy tomorrow.
It’s the being unable to sleep, my doctor only seems to throw antidepressants and anti anxiety medication at me I’ve lost count on how many different types I’ve been prescribed over the last 6 months. I know drinking will help me sleep but I’m also aware that I have to drink and I don’t know what will happen if I do.
I guess I’m in that stage of I’m sure one or two to sleep won’t be too bad but I know it won’t stop at one or two and it will only be days before I’m back at my usual.
Sounds frustrating, but you know what? I think you can do hard things. Yeah not sleeping can be hard, but getting wasted again and doing the same old same old won’t make you feel any better. And I think you know it will make you feel worse. You can break those chains that bind you to the drink. I think you want a healthier and happier life? These times when we are tested and craving, these are the times when we can start building some sober muscles. Push thru. You won’t regret it. Sending hugs and strength.
Going without sleeping will not kill you but continuing to drink will. Push through it and you’ll never have to experience it ever again. You gotta want it more than you’ve ever wanted anything in your life. Do whatever you gotta do to stay sober and it will get easier in time. Take that antibuse to eliminate any chances of picking up that first drink. You can do this!!
Sounds like not sleeping probably the way to go. Try a boring book maybe that will help. Dont use drinking too sleep as a rationalization the temptations are a tricky lying son of a bitch. Its your job too decipher the truth from the addiction.
Well done on 10 days!! That’s amazing, you should be proud of yourself. I agree with the replies above, not sleeping won’t kill you but alcohol will. Also, I think a lot of people will agree that your sleep will be sketchy at the start of sobriety for awhile. Mine was anyway and then it evened out and now I sleep well.
Good luck x
I didn’t sleep properly for 40 nights but the end result was I can now literally sleep anywhere anytime and it’s a real deep rejuvenating sleep not that ’ I’ll drink until I pass out and wake up feeling like shit all day tomorrow until I can start drinking again’
This recovery thing is all about time, given enough time and I promise you results.
