Good Morning to all,
I have been reading everyones threads, while trying to decide if I should post myself. I just hit 10 days myself, and thought I should post my experience in hopes of keeping myself accountable.
A little background on myself. I don’t think I am an alcoholic specifically but more of an addict. What I mean is i have an addictive, impulsive personality and therefore overindulge in everything. My addiction began with marijuana consistently when I was 13-22, first drink of alcohol at 14, with occasional use due to my love of marijuana at the time, and meth from 20-22.
At 22 I joined the Navy, addicted to meth and through bootcamp, began dreaming of eating handfuls of crystal meth shards. Of course I got through it and changed my addiction to alcohol. This involved blackouts, I have woken up soaked in piss on multiple occasions, and my wife of 11 years threatening to leave me if I didn’t change. So I had established an unhealthy relationship through the next 8 years of being in the Navy until 10 days ago when I quietly decided I will quit for myself. The myself part will be important I think this time around.
So I got out of the Navy and went to school to become an RN and actually stopped drinking for about 5 1/2 months after my wife said she couldn’t take it anymore. The whole time thinking I am missing out on everything because I wasn’t drinking. One night we went out to Bahama Breeze and I said to her, well maybe I could have one of those Red ale pints they sale, she agreed saying it would be nice if I could drink in moderation. So I did. Skip to now and I have been drinking ever since, and like an idiot, found a way to partially blame her for going along with the drinking that night. She just wanted me to be normal and will tell you she would have never gone along with it if she knew we would be back at square one.
Anyway, like I said I am a nurse and I don’t drink during the days I work which is 3 days/week. So 4 days/week I would drink like 4 16 oz cans of bud, or 6 pack of 7-9% abv, with the occasional monthly binge of every beer in the fridge, up to like 12-15. Doesn’t sound like much comparably to some of the stories in here but it had become habit.
So I have hit 10 days and have had a “Bootcamp Dream” of drinking and in fact, being on a ship again. So I wanted to share my experience so far to get it off my chest in hopes that if I share on here it will keep me more accountable. I shared with my wife at day seven that I downloaded this app and have stopped drinking. This of course she could tell cause I habitually bought beer Everytime we go to the store. I believe I will be ok this time around due to the fact that I am not stopping drinking because my wife told me too, or for my kids. I have quit because I want. Of course, I am considering my family as well knowing they will benefit too. I just need to find a healthy addiction to switch to.
Thanks for listening!