Someone special cut me out her life on the 15th May 2021 and broke my heart - actually physically broke it … aortic valve detached and open heart surgery needed. Since that day I haven’t touched a drop. Drink wasn’t a problem for me - I loved it - could go on month long binges and function fully. Better at my job than 90% of my peers and was always full of life with a smile. Stopping drinking wasn’t a problem either … stopped and that was that. People say how their life changed for the better and they feel so much happier etc etc. I had none of that … could probably say I’ve never felt more empty. Now 1001 days later I find myself at a point that I have to accept that at age 45 my brain will slowly or quickly be damaged by young onset dementia. Every part of me wants to pull myself up - get the drugs and drink flowing again and block the end of the journey out. People write up bucket lists but I have zero interest in anything… my passion was always getting f****d up. Just feel like I’m going out in a whimper and want to get back to who I was for the last stretch. Strangely enough I don’t need any help… just think I wanted to write down my brief story
Congrats on 1,001 days sober!
Hi, welcome, Bobby. I want to congratulate you on your sober time too, after suffering a broken heart to boot. BUT…
Have you been diagnosed with early onset dementia? If that’s the case, I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to go out with a bang instead of a whimper. BUT….
I hope you give the matter careful consideration. Maybe you are and that’s why you’ve reached out? Whatever you decide to do, I wish you well.
Are you aure you don’t need any help? Maybe talking to some psychologist could help. Maybe give it a try?
I have to do the same. For me it also isn’t all fun and roses after stopping. But continuing also is no option. If we can’t deal, we need to see a professional. At least we need to give it a try.
Thanks Simon. Got the diagnosis and change between two scans is significant. Is what it is and I’ll just keep plodding on.
So sorry to hear this. Wishing you all the best.