1001 days sober

Someone special cut me out her life on the 15th May 2021 and broke my heart - actually physically broke it … aortic valve detached and open heart surgery needed. Since that day I haven’t touched a drop. Drink wasn’t a problem for me - I loved it - could go on month long binges and function fully. Better at my job than 90% of my peers and was always full of life with a smile. Stopping drinking wasn’t a problem either … stopped and that was that. People say how their life changed for the better and they feel so much happier etc etc. I had none of that … could probably say I’ve never felt more empty. Now 1001 days later I find myself at a point that I have to accept that at age 45 my brain will slowly or quickly be damaged by young onset dementia. Every part of me wants to pull myself up - get the drugs and drink flowing again and block the end of the journey out. People write up bucket lists but I have zero interest in anything… my passion was always getting f****d up. Just feel like I’m going out in a whimper and want to get back to who I was for the last stretch. Strangely enough I don’t need any help… just think I wanted to write down my brief story

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Congrats on 1,001 days sober!

Hi, welcome, Bobby. I want to congratulate you on your sober time too, after suffering a broken heart to boot. BUT…

Have you been diagnosed with early onset dementia? If that’s the case, I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to go out with a bang instead of a whimper. BUT….

I hope you give the matter careful consideration. Maybe you are and that’s why you’ve reached out? Whatever you decide to do, I wish you well.

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Are you aure you don’t need any help? Maybe talking to some psychologist could help. Maybe give it a try?
I have to do the same. For me it also isn’t all fun and roses after stopping. But continuing also is no option. If we can’t deal, we need to see a professional. At least we need to give it a try.

Thanks Simon. Got the diagnosis and change between two scans is significant. Is what it is and I’ll just keep plodding on.

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So sorry to hear this. Wishing you all the best.